He taught me how to LOVE...





As a child i grew up with many animals and really never got close to them. My sister was the animal lover. As an adult i never felt the need to even want a pet, i have children! My older sister bred chihuahua's and gave one of the puppies to my son. When i picked him up to drive him home i put him in my shirt, he just looked up at me the whole drive home. He was the cutest little thing i ever seen. He was less then one pound im sure. My son took one look at him and said "i want a big dog" "what am i going to do with that"? I ended up with this little funny cute baby that i named Chewy Peanut. He was my everything, i took him everywhere i went and when i absolutely had to leave him at home my family would tell me "He has been waiting for you this whole time, just watching out the window for you or he stayed under the covers the whole time" It was like he was depressed with out me and i felt the same. I would always try to hurry home and when i was getting closer to my house i would sing a little song of happiness because i was almost there!!Chewy Peanut slept with me everynight. I taught him how to give hugs, it was the cutest thing. Chewy was very sensitive just like me! If i was crying so was he, real tears would roll down his face. I ended up getting another chihuahua so Chewy could have a girlfriend. She was a rescue dog. Chewy and Shiloh got along right away! She was one years old and he was two. That was his wife for sure! On October 9th 2012 Chewy passed away in my bed. I dont understand it. He was so happy,healthy and full of life. About a week and a half before he died he was mopping around looking sick. Just not himself. He wasnt really eating. He was trying to hide in unusual places, for him anyways. This went on like this for about three days, then finally i was like something is seriously wrong with him. My husband and i took him to a late night vet, which was expensive and diagnosed him with Pancriatitus. I couldnt even pay for all of the treatment because i didnt have the funds. She told me ways to care for him at home and said it should get better. I read alot on the internet to do everything i could to help my baby. The next day he became paralyzed in his back legs. I gathered up the money for another vet and she diagnosed him paraplegic. She said it happens some times with little dogs. I was going to buy him a wheelchair to get around. I wasnt going to put him down just for this handicap. Then two days after that he became a quadriplegic, i fed him baby food from a spoon and pedialite through a syringe. At this point iam all out of ways to pay for more vets and i didnt even have the money to put him to sleep. I held him for three more days after this never leaving his side. I did have pain medicine that i was giving him. He was still eating the babyfood and drinking if i fed it to him of course. I never cryed in front of him because i couldnt bare to see his tears. I told him he was gonna get better and he had to eat his food. He had also lost his voice. On his last day all that day i read the bible to him, and for many many years i have had a fear to open up that book. I dont know why but it just was something that had came over me about fifteen years ago. I read to him till the wee hours of the night. I prayed for a miracle, i prayed for jesus to come. At six o'clock the next morning he was trying to bark. He kept doing it, it seemed like it was a struggle for him. I told him everything would be ok and that i would never leave him and mama is right here. I told him to give me a kiss and he licked my face, i told him that i loved him and that he was my best friend. Shiloh lay at his feet that night. I put him on my chest and he went number two on me and that was just fine. I cleaned him up and put himback in bed on the side of me. I put my hand on his heart and we fell asleep that way. I woke up again around ten a.m. and he was dead. Chewy Peanut was only three years old. He had all of his shots and was very healthy i just dont understand what happened to him. I have been in a unhealthy relationship for over nine years. My husband in and out of prison. Chewy Peanut got me through so much. My husband went back in a week after Chewy's death. Chewy has taught me not only to love animals but to love myself. I am not sad over my husband going back to prison, i am sad over losing my best friend. It feels like i will never get over it but i will definantly get over my husband. Chewy taught me that i am more then that and that i am worth loving, I know this because he did UNCONDITIONALLY. I LOVE YOU CHEWY PEANUT! Shiloh had Chewy Peanuts baby's last week. I was going to keep one of them but im really not sure now. I think maybe Shiloh and i will start living again, keeping Chewy's memory alive and Doing more fun things. There is more to life then waiting for a man to change when you can have Chewy and Shiloh. The BEST THINGS THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS OPPURTUNITY TO SHARE MY GRIEF WITH OTHERS. LUVBUFFY...

Comments for He taught me how to LOVE...

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Sep 29, 2013
He taught me how to love-indeed
by: Jean

excellent and very very moving article Buffy. It really touched me. Keep writing and sharing. So beautifully written.

Sep 29, 2013
amazingand insirational
by: Grandma Jean

Wow Buffy!! I am blown away at your excellent article. You are a sensitive and very gifted writer and I so loved the way you poured your heart out and I completely understand your loss, like I had with my Sparky who kept me going after you know who left. Much love Buffy!!!

Sep 28, 2013
from PR
by: Anonymous

Very well written and very touching. Unfortunately grief is part of life, but Chewy Peanut showed you it is not the only part. There are many other parts and we will all experience them if we keep living each day to its fullest!

Sep 28, 2013
Your baby

That was so touching and inspirational Buffy !

Nov 13, 2012
Dear Doreen U.K.
by: Buffy Hamilton

I dont know if you will get to read this but i wanted to thank you for your kind words and support. I too am very sorry for YOUR loss and you are so right, animals are such a blessing from GOD and it is such a different kind of bond between people and animals. They are just so loyal, loving, a true unconditional kind of love!!! We both have been truly blessed to have known and have had such a special, healing bond. Aren't we LUCKY!!?? I'm glad your birds found a great place to live and always remember "They never foget"! Take care of yourself and GOD BLESS YOU and your FAMILY. LUVBUF...

Oct 31, 2012
He taught me how to LOVE....
by: Doreen U.K.

Buffy thank you for your beautiful well written story of your life with chewy peanut. He was such a beautiful dog. I am happy for you having this wonderfull experience and memories no one can take away from you and money cannot buy such rich life experiences. I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS OF CHEWY PEANUT!!! I loved reading your story. I could feel the LOVE in each line and coming up from the page.
I never liked pets. till one day my son talked his sister into having 2 birds (cockatiels). I was annoyed as it was dusty and we couldn't breathe. Well I ended up looking after these 2 birds which eventually became 7 then 4 babies were born and 7 became 11. The Daddy bird flew out of the cage due to my daughter's carelessness. I cried buckets of tears. Then one very cold winter one of the babies flew out of the cage and would probably have died with the cold. I loved these darling birds. This was the best experience of my life. A love for a pet is so different from a love of a person. A different bond is forged. Due to the dust I developed Asthma and had to give the birds away to a man who rescues birds. He had the perfect environment. Indoor/outdoor Aviary. The birds are happy there, BUT I MISS THEM SO VERY MUCH. If I had the perfect environment for these darling birds I would have kept them. They would have helped me through my grief having lost my husband to cancer 6 months ago. I have a new love for pets and they are the most loving animals ever a blessing to mankind. God got that so right. I hope you will one day be blessed with a pet at the right time to continue to enhance your life and continue this wonderful circle of life.

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