He was my everything. Now I found someone, and he can't part from his everything

by SABENA
(CALIFORNIA)

I fell in love..... As we all do, however, with a man that never gave himself to me completely to me, that I found out later... I was married for 20 years. I gave up my soul for him, strayed away from everything I believed in, without any hesitation... At his funeral, after a long emotional and exausting whirlpool of ups and downs, his exwife was at the funeral, I had no problem with that, with the exception of her "why are you here attitude", which took me by surprise.

John was Mr. wonderful to me, we have 2 wonderful and beautiful girls together, and I miss every moment that I have been away from him.....

I have tried to move on to no avail.... than I meet him. The man that John told me I would meet!!! After 4 1/2 years I met a man that I don't want to be without, however, he is still, if not more than he was in love with his wife. He has not lied to me about that, he has been nothing but honest.... however, he has asked me to move in with him. I need to overlook his true and un-dying love his still, and always have, for his beloved deceased wife of now almost 3 years. HOW WRONG AM I TO WANT TO BE LOVED AGAIN..... AS I ONCE THOUGHT I WAS......

Comments for He was my everything. Now I found someone, and he can't part from his everything

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Oct 25, 2013
Sometimes I Wonder
by: Kelly

I have met a man who lost his wife to cancer 5 years ago. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in the shadows of his late wife. Her pictures are still in his room. The home he lives in has her style. There's a little chalk board that she wrote a message to him three days before she died. He has her underwear in his drawer. We have dated almost a year. This will be our first Christmas together and I'm very afraid that it's going to be dampened by her memory. She died the first week of December. I gave him a pumpkin that I carved for him for Halloween and he told me he doesn't like Halloween. Then I heard a story about how she dressed up and gave out candy. I couldn't help it but my feelings got hurt and I'm afraid I may get even more hurt feelings during the holidays. I can't compete with her memory and it's not fair to our relationship to have our life overshadowed by grief. I'm crying tonight because I talked to him this evening and earlier he had received a solicitation call asking for her and he told them she had passed away 5 years ago. He said he was sad and really didn't want to talk to me this evening. It hurt my feelings. I'm trying really hard not be unfeeling or act selfishly about this but does anyone know how long I will suffer because of his grief? What should I do? I am in love with him and I think he loves me too. What can I do about how I feel? I have talked to him before about this but I don't think he sees his own grief. He almost called me by her name the other day. I didn't say anything because we were with some other people and we haven't had some quite moments to talk. I'm not even sure I know how to talk about it. Maybe if someone here could give me the other perspective from the other side. Thanks.

Feb 20, 2013
are you willing?
by: jamie

My ex husband died just recently. He had remarried. My ex and I were on good terms, even friends, but his new wife was never quite ok with it. I remarried, too, and my new husband learned to be ok about the connection that my ex and i had. He even became best friends with my ex.

feelings are unique. Situations are unique. there is a difference between letting go and not caring. And there is a difference between holding on and unhealthy attachment. You will find out in time which it is, but try not to let the world dictate what is "normal" or "right".

if you want to love again, just like loving the first time, it is a risk. pray and follow your heart, and allow the past connections to change naturally.

hugs.

Jan 15, 2013
He was my everything. Now I found someone, and he can't part from his everything
by: Doreen U.K.

Sabena it is not wrong to want to be LOVED again. WE have feelings and LONLINESS is not a nice feeling or place to be. God created us for companionship. You just need to be careful that you don't live in the shadow's of his former wife. You found a man you love. He loves his wife. He needs grief counselling to get over his grief of his wife otherwise you are courting disaster. My aunt has lost 3 husbands. She now has a man for companionship. He does jobs around the house for her and she shares a meal with him. She is in her 80's. If it works it is good. I hope everything works out well for you. Best wishes

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