He was the love of my life and my soulmate

by BuBu
(marlton, nj usa)

It was love at first sight almost 30 years ago. I was only 18, he was 22. Six months after we met we went out on our first date, the second date on the next day he asked me to marry him.

We had a wonderful marriage. We never went to bed mad at each other, we never called each other bad names or cursed at each other. 2 years ago he suffered a massive stroke and brain hemorrhage from taking a blood thinner for irregular heartbeat, and after being in a coma, he passed away after three weeks.

It's been 2 years and I don't seem to be able to get over it. There is not a day or moment in my life I don't think about him or expect him to walk thru the door at the end of the day. I still have days when I just want to cry.

I feel all empty inside. I force myself to deal with each day, thinking one of these days it will get better, but it seems so far away. It feels like my heart is aching and I just want him back to make the pain go away.

I have withdrawn myself from everybody, because they all think enough time past and it's time for me to go on with my life and maybe even start dating. But I'm afraid because I know the person I'll be looking for would have to be just like him.