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He was the love of my life and my soulmate

by BuBu
(marlton, nj usa)

It was love at first sight almost 30 years ago. I was only 18, he was 22. Six months after we met we went out on our first date, the second date on the next day he asked me to marry him.

We had a wonderful marriage. We never went to bed mad at each other, we never called each other bad names or cursed at each other. 2 years ago he suffered a massive stroke and brain hemorrhage from taking a blood thinner for irregular heartbeat, and after being in a coma, he passed away after three weeks.

It's been 2 years and I don't seem to be able to get over it. There is not a day or moment in my life I don't think about him or expect him to walk thru the door at the end of the day. I still have days when I just want to cry.

I feel all empty inside. I force myself to deal with each day, thinking one of these days it will get better, but it seems so far away. It feels like my heart is aching and I just want him back to make the pain go away.

I have withdrawn myself from everybody, because they all think enough time past and it's time for me to go on with my life and maybe even start dating. But I'm afraid because I know the person I'll be looking for would have to be just like him.

Comments for
He was the love of my life and my soulmate

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Sorry, I got lost but I'd like to come back here and participate
by: Mel Telford

I finally got the strength to come back to this site and read what I had written and the comments. It seems like there are more posts to read.

The comment 'Does it ever get better, I don't think so.' I'm paraphrasing.

Everyone and all the book I've read tell me that it doesn't get better we just get used to it, to the point that we can move forward with our lives. I'm 67 years old; the only moving forward that I could do was to enjoy retirement with my wife. I retired in April 2008 she died in March of 2009.

I don't have the will to move forward, I'm tired of trying to move forward. All of our lives we've been told to move forward in one way or another.

Move forward in your career, move forward in becoming a good citizen, move forward in becoming a good husband, father, mother, lover, friend.

I thought I could finally relax. She wasn't in good health but I knew I could take care of her.

I guess I better stop, although there's a lot more bitterness in me.

I lost my soulmate last april 2009
by: Mel Telford

I can relate to your loss of a soul mate, we were so fortunate to find one in this crazy loveless world.

I can't stop thinking about her, my soul mate, we were married for 23 years divorced for 2 years and remarried for another 22 years.

When we were divorced every thing I did was to impress her to come back to me and at a time that I least expected it we were back together. That was 1983, we have two children who are adults now with children of their own. I'm so proud of my daughter and son and all my 8 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild.

I've reached a point in grieving that all I can do is feel guilty for any hurt I may have caused her. I loved her more than I even realized. A few years back I did realized it and it was so wonderful to tell her how much I loved her and was even more in love with her now.

I don't know if it's natural to feel this guilty about my attitude about marriage and fidelity but I can't stop apologizing for any hurt I caused her in the 48 years of our togetherness.

There were times when I wasn't a good husband and yet we got back together for 23 more years and I finally learned how to love her with no conditions and she's gone. I don't get another chance to go back and let her know how much I always loved her. I'm grateful for the last years together when I could hold her in my arms and love her unconditionally and tell how I felt. I thank God that I did get to hold her without wanting any thing more than that.

I'm sorry I'm making this comment about myself instead of comforting you but I just want you to know that I had a soul mate too. I can empathize with you and I get comfort from reading your words.

God bless you,

true love never dies (He was the love of my life)
by: Janet F.

My heart goes out to you. I suffered the same loss. Mike & I were married 48 yrs. We have 3 wonderful children, all grown up & married with their own families. I am lucky cause life goes on thru them.

I have joined a grieving type group at our church. It has helped me a lot. I met wonderful friends there. We do a meeting every week, and I and another person there have become friends. It has helped. Check out your church. You may contact me if you're interested. You could email me at: Fazzari545@bellsouth.net
Janet F.
I too am sad...
by: Anonymous

Does it ever get any easier? I can't see how.

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