He was the love of my life, now he's gone

When we met the chemistry was overwhelming. We had so much fun. Laughed, talked about everything over dinner and realized we had a lot in common. We moved in together within two months. I was so in love with him I invited him to live with me. I was so excited! I noticed though that it was taking a long time for him to move his things to my house. The first month though was heaven. I had what I had dreamed of since my divorce. I real relationship! We were together, he asked me to marry him and gave me his deceased mother's wedding ring to me. What an honor I thought to myself. He was beautiful, outwardly, I was beyond flattered that he was interested in me! The second month was not so good. He was fighting with his ex over visitation with his daughter. It took a huge toll on us. He became angry with me, pretty much everything I did and I did a lot for him. Cooked, washed our clothes together, tried to help with his legal battle, you name it. For his birthday I bought him balloons and dinner. Time passes....he won't talk to me during the day. Says he's too busy for a conversation or a text. He started coming home late or not at all. Never called to tell me he would be late. My heart was breaking but I trudged forward. Praying for a miracle. I was so in love with him I couldn't see the forest for the trees. This past September he got mad at me and walked out. Just left. After about two weeks we got together again for a few days. I thought he was rekindling the relationship. No, he would leave while I was at work without a word. This happened over and over. Then he started being really mean to me and saying very hurtful things. Bashed my self esteem. BUT I was always there for him, hoping, wishing things would get better and he would see what a prize I was. The last time I saw him he was horrible to me. I tried texting him but he wouldn't respond. You would think I would have gotten it by now. He didn't care and truthfully I don't think he ever did. It was an illusion I made up in my mind. I wanted a future with him so bad I was willing the sacrifice myself and take his abuse. Last night I wrote him for the last time asking for closure. He responded today but I couldn't bring myself to read it. I can't take anymore hurtful words.
Here I am mourning over something that never was. He dumped me and never looked back. To love like I did, put up with so much and still love him doesn't make sense I know. I mourn my feelings, my heart has been broken like never before. I can't let go and it's killing me. I feel awful about myself and think no other guy will ever like me. I have met a few people but they have gone away too. What's wrong with me. I cry every night knowing I need to move on.....

Comments for He was the love of my life, now he's gone

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Dec 12, 2013
He was the love of my life, now he's gone
by: Doreen UK

Dear Broken Heart. There is nothing wrong with you. You gave too much of yourself to this man and to the relationship, because you loved him so very much. Realise that when you marry someone's EX you will be inviting problems. Be prepared for this. You seem to have accepted this and worked around his problems. This man was too focused on the difficulties in his past marriage to commit to you. Don't make the mistake of taking him back. You will suffer a broken heart for some time. Start with doing special things for yourself each day. Treat yourself Special. It is called NURTURING yourself. You will be building up your self esteem. Don't look back but learn from this experience. Move forward in small ways. Don't let the main FOCUS of your attention be on finding another man. Take your time and either see a counsellor or read a good book on being assertive and getting your needs met, whilst meeting the needs of another person in your life. Relationships at best nowadays are fragile and complex. Anyone can come along and steal your man, no matter how good you are. Be prepared for this in the real world it is cruel. Live one day at a time and surround yourself with good supportive friends. You will meet someone one day who will love you for yourself. Don't hang your heart on the first man that comes around. Just enjoy the courtship whilst looking out for any danger signals. Don't let any man disrespect you or treat you cruel. Walk away if this happens and don't look back. Don't let any man/person rob you of your self esteem. If a man/person does not respect you there is no relationship there worth the effort to build up. e.g. My youngest sister betrayed us was downright disrespectful, and I confronted her and then walked away. She will be the loser. I lost my husband to cancer 19 months ago and I need all the friends and family to surround me in my grief, but not at the cost of my self esteem and not being respected. I have done the counselling many years ago, and it made me a new person. I know what I will and won't tolerate in a relationship. I have become more balanced and even learned not to give too much to a relationship that leaves me depleted. I did this for my son. I have learned to respect my boundaries and those of others. I have learned the hard way to not become injured by my love and support to other's. A lot of what I have learned in life comes with maturity. I wish you all the best in life and hope life gets better for you soon.

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