Heart Broken Manchester Mum

My handsome intelligent, polite, well mannered, caring, and considerate 1st born son went on holiday for short break in Spain and returned deceased,passed away 29.07.11. My heart is completely broken to say the least.Eldest of 3 sons 23yrs, 22, 21, my whole world!(their best friend and role model)I am finding it really difficult to understand how close family members and friends can actually stay away because they dont know what to say! when others are amazing!what would we do without those who express their grief and support for us? If we are putting so much effort in to just getting out of bed every day and functioning why cant they see that and try to help lessen the pain by just a text or card? I know I am in a bad place at this moment and realise that this page cant really help, but it highlights to me no one but a mum who has experienced what I have can possibly understand the daily nightmare of losing your Son.

Comments for Heart Broken Manchester Mum

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Dec 07, 2011
by: Anonymous

With the holiday season coming up I find I am missing my son even more deeply than ever. This is the second Christmas without him. Last year I was still numb since his death was so fresh. Thank goodness for The Compassionate Friends. I attend the monthly meetings and I participate on their facebook page. I also participate on Grieving Christian Mothers and Parents of Children Who Died of Cancer facebook groups. I find that, with the exception of my other children, no one understands. I think that most people avoid me because I'm so deep in my grief. They don't know what to say. This Sunday I will be lighting a candle along with thousands of other parents in The Compassionate Friends candle lighting ceremony. This takes place every year. I invite you all to light a candle for your child at 7 pm on Sunday. I will be doing this in memory of my 23 year old son Dimitri. He was precious and I miss him with every beat of my heart. Sending hugs to all of you.
Shirley in Calif

Dec 07, 2011
by: Anonymous

I know and feel your pain. It is exactly a year and one week ago when my 21yr old son was murdered. You are in the right place. Take each day as it comes. Each day is a gift and be grateful for having him for the time it lasts.
Think of the good times with him. Appreciate those who you see and try and make new contacts.
Don't neglect your self. You still have a life to live
Accept my heartfelt sympathy.
Loss is part of life. It is a price that comes with living.
Hold on to God. HE is your sure hope

Dec 03, 2011
by: Karen

Hi Manchester Mum

I just recently lost my daughter Nastasha to Acute Myleod Leukemia. She was 30 years old, she died on my birthday. She was not only my daughter, but my very best friend.
I miss her so terribly, that I just wanted to go with her, but know thats not possible, and I have a son that needs me too..so I have to try and live as she would have wanted me to, although some days the grief is just so bad.

Its a loss like no other that a parent can experience. My heart just breaks most days, although try to function as, even though I dont want my life to go on, it does.

Its still very raw for me, as we are having her Celebration of Life tomorrow for her..going to be a difficult day...a day to honour her who she was, her life..but so so hard.

All the parents out there, hang in there, and just take each day as it comes.
One step, one breath at a time.

She was diagnosed in July 2011, had two rounds of Chemo...all it did was make her very sick most the time..Anyone who has lost someone to Leukemia knows how aggressive it is.

Karen (Vancouver BC)

I miss her every day!

Dec 02, 2011
I understand
by: Anonymous

Dear Manchester Mum,

I do understand what you're going through. I lost my son, Nabil, a year and a month ago. He was 22. Everyday is a struggle and some days getting out of bed is an achievement. All one can do is taking one day at a time, and sometimes one hour at a time. I know what you mean about support from family and friends. The friends I thought will be of help all but keep their distance away with the excuse of don't know what to do or say. I try not to waste my energy thinking about them but instead be thankful of the few who continues to help. The new friends I made through the support group, The Compassionate Friends, have been a great support and lifeline for me.

Take care and be gentle with yourself.


Nov 30, 2011
so sorry
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. My 23 year old son died 15 months ago after a two year fight. He had leukemia. I miss him so much. I just try to take one day at a time. I don't have the energy to look forward. One step, one breath....sending lots of hugs to you.
Shirley in California

Nov 30, 2011
I know how you feel
by: Cindy

Hi Manchester Mum; I lost my sweet 27 yr old son Dylan, in March of this year. He was my only child and I am missing him so much. I know what you mean about your family not giving you support; I am experiencing the same. My brother, who is most like my son and could give me much comfort, is avoiding me as if I had a disease. I do, its called grief. But enough of that, I want to tell you how sorry I am, my dear, for your beautiful son's passing. He sounds so much like my Dylan. I will remember him (and you) in my prayers.


Nov 30, 2011
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

Dear Manchester Mum,

My heart goes out to you. Although I have not lost a child, I lost my husband of one year suddenly on the same date as your son. Your words sound like my own. During the first week there were so many people around, and so many promises made, and then everything disappeared. Only a very few close friends, but very little family. I've heard all the familiar things like...it's too hard to see you so sad, we don't know what to do or say, and other things.

It IS a struggle every minute of every day. My children are grown so yes there are days when I wonder why I get out of bed, but through a support group I have learned that to honor those we lost, we MUST continue to live the best we can FOR them. Our lives, although it seems like it, did not die with them. I have to keep telling myself that EVERY day as I try to make sense of things.

Please continue to come to this site, and maybe find a local support group. I was hesitant at first to share my grief with strangers, but they have become more to me than my own family. They have all been where we are, and they understand.

One breath...one step at a time.


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