Heart Broken Mother

by Ricki
(Chesterfield,Mi U.S.A.)

The story I am about to tell is a story I thought would only happen in the movies.

I was only 39 years old at the time. It was a beautiful fall day and I decided to take the boys to the cider mill. I always liked to stop at my parents house for a quick hello. For some reason, I could not wait to leave the cider mill to go and say "hello" to my parents. Dad was outside raking the leaves and mom was in the house watching television. I said a quick "hello" and "goodbye" to both parents because I had to go pick up my husband from a football game. I was a little confused as to why I did not get to stay a little longer. That was Sunday.

By Thursday I had a phone call at work, It was my sister and she told me dad was taken away in an ambulance. I got to the hospital to find he had a stroke. He was conscience and speaking at the time. I thought he would be able to come home in a couple of day. I thought I would be able to take care of him. As the day went by, I noticed he was getting weaker and less responsive and talkative. By Friday night, he slipped into a coma. On Saturday, doctors performed surgery on his brain to relieve the pressure and swelling on his brain. Prior to the surgery, I hope he heard me tell him how much I loved him. I had no idea this was going to be his last chance. By the following Friday, doctors informed us 3/4 of his brain was dead.His wishes were to not ever to be on life support. We had to make a decision to take him off of life support. He passed early Saturday morning.That was November 5th, 2011

I was angry with my mother for not getting my father to the hospital as soon as he had symptoms of a stroke. I had no idea how bad she was hurting about the loss of my father. She was very stressed out and hurting too. She tried not to show it. Finally, I accepted the fact that my mother did not know the symptoms of a stroke.

I started to speak to my mother on a daily basis again. I would call her every day and she would tell me how stress out she was. I had no idea she cried herself to sleep at night.She isolated herself from everyone. I still called her to see how she was doing.

My mother started complaining about back pain and she was getting dizzy. I asked her if I could take her to the doctors and she would change the subject. I continued to call every day. I called her on Valentine's day and she had told me that her arm was going numb. I begged her to seek medical help and she would just change the subject. I was again angry with her because we had just lost our father.

Finally, on February 16th, I received another call from my sister again. It was the familiar voice again. The voice that I did not ever want to hear again. This time, she was on the way to mother's house because mom had called her and told her, "she thinks she is having a stroke". My sister hung up the phone on her and dialed 911. By the time my sister arrived, the ambulance was there and my mother's face had already turned blue. She had a massive heart attack. It was only 3 months and 11 days after my father had passed away.

I miss my parents dearly, I loved them so much! I still can not figure out why I am still angry with them. They both had symptoms but would not seek medical help. I do not understand why they would leave us so soon. They were still young. They were only 64 and 65 years old.They are both gone! I just don't understand if they knew the inevitable was going to eventually happen. I am very sad and very confused.

I love you mom and dad. I miss you so much. I can only hope you two are together again. Why did you have to leave so soon?

Comments for Heart Broken Mother

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May 19, 2012
Miss My Parents Too
by: ricki

I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your parents. I know exactly what you and your sisters are going through. I know the frustration and devastation. How long has it been for you? It has been 3 months and I feel as though times are more rough now than when this first happend.How do you and your sisters cope? I am lost.

May 19, 2012
Re:A Broken Heart
by: Heart Broken Mother

Yes, my mother was a chain smoker. My father did not smoke. My father's diabetes and poor eating habits is what killed him. That's why I am kind of angry with both of them. However, I did make a promise to my children that I will not leave them like my parents left me. Thank you for you input. It does make me feel better just to talk to people about it. I love them and miss them both each and every day. Mother's Day was last Sunday and it was pretty rough. I am trying to get through this rough time day by day.

May 09, 2012
miss my parents too
by: maty

I know how you feel I miss my parents every day my parents died ten days apart from each other
It has been very hard on me and my two sisters

May 09, 2012
A broken heart
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry for your losses. Your parents were both way too young and should still be with you.
My favorite Aunt and uncle died within a week of one another. Her of a heart attach and him from a broken heart one week after, almost to the hour. We all know the total devastation was more than he could take and his heart was broken in two. They both were heavy smokers.
What love your parents must have had for one another.
As a stranger and with no judgement (they were smokers) were they not? Smoking killed my father and mother to early as well and I have had my own battles with it in the past. A brother that can not go 5 minutes without one, even knowing what it did to mom and dad.
I felt somewhat the same feelings of frustration with both my parents. My father was stubborn about it and did not quite until his strokes. I begged him and asked if we were not all worth it to him.
? is what are we all doing in this crazy world about it. So many are not taking care of themselves. Obesity is out of control and the food supply is well, a whole other bad bad story.
Seem since they banned smoking everywhere people are just eating themselves to death.
You must still be fairly young and I hope you do not or will quite smoking so no one of your loved ones suffer such a senseless loss. If I'm wrong about some of your family's habits, that's a good thing. It does seem to be somewhat hereditary though. I'm still so sorry for your loss.
It takes time to work through grief. It's a journey we all will make in life if we were lucky enough to love someone so much.

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