Heart broken

I lost my husband to cancer August. 2013 . I've been having a very hard time dealing with the loss of him and dealing with the loneliness. I stay with my son because I can't stand to be in my own home. It is so quiet. So very quiet. This was my second marriage . My first husband died from cancer 20 years ago. I don't know how to deal with losing both husbands. Plus my beloved mother five years. I've lost so much. My spirit is broken. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I spent most of my time taking care of them I don't. Have friends. I have lost a lot and I feel like I'm losing myself. Please let me know how to deal with this.

Comments for Heart broken

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Sep 06, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrence

It’s the loneliness that’s so debilitating, as you say the house is so quiet and the bedroom so empty and cold.
Everybody on this “DEATH OF A SPOUSE” web site knows the agony you are in and the overwhelming sadness at losing not one, but two husbands and your mother, your grief must be heartbreaking.
Well, I lost a precious wife on Christmas day 2012 after being together for nearly seventy years and like you I was totally bereft and couldn't face the future alone, but after reading some of the comments on this web site made me realize that life has to go on, so here some advice to help..
First of all GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, do anything, visiting the old and sick, join a club, learn to play bridge, if you are computer literate write a book, do absolutely anything, but stay in your house and grieve, you must force yourself because lethargy is a symptom of bereavement, it’s so easy to sit and cry, but it’s not what your husband would want for you.
Your house will still be there when you return, still cold and empty.
I lead a frantic life, doing nearly all the things I suggested and many more, including having violin lessons after a break of seventy years, and have mastered bridge which wasn't easy at the age of eighty five.
I write novels and children’s stories and send them all over the world to people like you and me who are hurting so badly after losing the love of their life.
I am even thinking of re-starting flying lessons which I stopped many years ago but have the distinct impression that if I even mention it to my daughters, all hell will break lose, so I will put that aside for the moment..
So, your broken spirit will heal, and your grief and sadness will slowly fade away as it must because your body can only suffer for so long before healing starts. The tunnel of grief is long but there is light at the end and you are nearly there.
It’s the most painful and heartbreaking thing that can ever happen in your life to lose someone so special, but remember, you are not alone, all couples will have to go through the agony of one of them dying.
I know that’s no consolation, but it is something to bear in mind and it’s just LIFE and there’s no escaping it.
With all my deepest sympathy.

Sep 05, 2014
Heart Broken
by: Doreen UK

Losing both husbands and a mother will make you feel as if you are all alone and impossible to go on in life with nothing to hope for. We all need people in our life. This is why God created us for one another. We were meant to be in relationship. We cannot survive well in isolation. Often it is a battle too far and wide to conquer. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly cancer 2yrs. ago. I am in the same place struggling each day with grief and loneliness. I have coped up till now by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. I also have a very strong Faith in God. This is how I cope each day. I hope God will reach down and comfort you and give you a reason to continue your journey here on earth. Reach out to God for comfort and a Church for friendship and support.

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