heartbroken daughter

by Heartbroken daughter

Dear Mum,

Today has been the worse since your death weeks ago.

Why do people assume I am happy you are out of your suffering ? I would be happier if you would have enjoyed
your life without the restrictions of a wheelchair and
carers imposing on your freedom.

Why do relatives tell me I am free to do what I want.
When your company, wise counsel and laughter meant everything to me. The house is so glum now.

The days and nights are so long without your presence.

You told me it would be difficult, and to be strong. But
nothing prepared me for how this loss would be the worse and most devastating one I have ever experienced.

Love from your daughter who misses you so muchXXXXX

Comments for heartbroken daughter

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 31, 2012
heartbroken daughter
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Broken, I am so sorry for your loss of your mum some weeks ago. Try and see a grief counsellor to support you through these difficult days. You are reaching out to family and friends and they are saying the wrong things. Because they feel they need to say something to make you feel better and it does the opposite. A counsellor would give you the time and space to be YOU. and to Express yourself. Of course there will be a time when you will be able to process what other's are saying. But the time to say this is not now.
I got to thinking I am FREE. I should be happy that I don't have many of the problems that arise e.g. choosing furniture, choosing what to do, where to go, who I should see, what to wear. without any interference. But you know what. I would even like to hear my husband moaning about the state of the country (England) what the politicians are doing to stuff up the health service, all the normal stuff that happens in life and causes us to even moan or be angry about. It is when our loved one's are gone that we realize. Nothing else matter's but to have them back in our lives. Even with the intrusions of medical staff and carers, It would have been lovely to still have our loved one's around. I too just like you get told. "At least your husband is not suffering anymore" This is true. But why did he have to have this deadly cancer anyway? Why didn't he get to enjoy retirement? Why did he go from work to cancer to Death? He worked for 40 years to retire and not enjoy some FREEDOM and FREE TIME for himself to do what he wanted to do. Some people are never touched by tragedy or have to endure illness or having to be a carer so they become insensitive. When they go through something. They will change. They will owe you an APOLOGY for the way they felt or the things they said because they didn't know any better. Filter from your mind what people say. You are grieving and the way you feel is normal. We all on this website speak the same language, and endure the same grief. We know what you are saying. I feel the same way as you. I went out yesterday with my daughters for a birthday meal. I had to force myself to make the effort to make new memories. But I was sad inside. I was unhappy. but I didn't let it show. This was my private moment. You honour your mum the way you need to. You give yourself permission to miss her and want her back. The house is EMPTY. You are LONELY. This will never change. But let us hope in time that the pain gets less and less otherwise we won't survive this grief.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Moms.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!