heartbroken over loss of my dad dec 24,2012

by andy

My dad had been suffering from aphiasa and had a stroke 2 years ago as well as 2 spinal infusuin surgeries over last 5 years. He had very little appetite. My mom called me at 3 in the morning dec 14 that my dad was bleeding uncontollable from his rectum. The emt took him to the hospital. He has to get 13 units of blood each day for 3 days just to keep his blood presure normal. Finally it was determined my dad needed emergency colon removal surgery dec 18. Whn i saw him that weeek he was very week and i was concerned about his very weak condition. all he wanted was ice chips and morphine

He was in icu for 3 days wher all vital signs are monitered 24 hours. He was then bought down to medical surgical unit where they are supposed to get him out of bed and start a soft food diet. This was a tuesday. On the medical surgical unit patients are checked on once a hour.On sunday my dad had a suddedn burst of unergy and walked around the nurses station and ate a whole meal. and i was going to see him again on thursday.We were all excited about this On the monday after my dads sudden burst of energy,my mom and i were concerned about his disorientation,swollen fingers and toes,very cold on his body and when the nurses tried getting him on a chair,he slumped and foam came out of his mouth. To the nurses it was a bad day-some days are good and some days are bad. That evening at 3.30 in the morning i got the phone call from my mom that one never wants to get,but as soon as the phone rang i knew-my dad was gone. 6 days after surgery

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Dec 31, 2012
my heart goes to you
by: Anonymous

Dear Andy,

I'm really sorry for your lost and my heart goes to you, I lost my Dad recently as well and I know exactly how you feel in that stage.
Whenever someone dies everybody starts analyzing the way he died, if it was after hospitalizing they say: it won't be so hard on the family as they were expecting it!
If he just died in his sleep they say: Okay, you should be happy that he didn't suffer and they just left in peace!
For me it's the same, same result….I will never see my father again.
But regardless of that, after 4 weeks of weeping and crying my heart out, I woke up this morning feeling different, it's his face that I saw in the mirror, he will never leave me, he will always be part of me, of course am gonna miss him but I will never forget him.
I will act as if he went in a long journey and he is in a place where he is happy and one day…I will join him, but I should be prepared for that day as he is gonna need me as strong as I can be, as satisfied as I can be.
Eventually we will be together…hold that thought Andy

Dec 31, 2012
heartbroken over loss of my dad dec 24, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Andy I am sorry for your loss of your dad to a sudden death days after surgery.
None of us can tell when a person may recover or lose their life. We Pray. WE live in Hope that recovery will take place. None of us want to think of Death, it robs us of the joy of Life.
Some physical illnesses are so bad that often people do recover and get some sort of a miracle. Others have the assurance of a good recovery and then go on to suddenly die. This is one of the mysteries of illness and the hardest aspects of grief. It is a complication of grief because the HOPE one had has suddenly been crushed. One is caught off guard. It is a shock to the system. It is also the worst time of the season to lose a loved one. Every Christmas will be a reminder that your Dad died that year and it will be a sad anniversary of a family time. Christmas is a celebration that brings families together and death destroys this. How can we ever go on in life the same way? Our lives will be altered forever. The cycle of life goes on. You will establish your own family with new traditions but your father won't be around to be part of this. This is what hurts so badly. I have to endure this AGONY after losing my husband 8 months ago to cancer. I wish you better days ahead and supportive family and friends to help you through your grief.

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