HEARTBROKEN

by yvonne beattie
(scotland)

I lost my grandfather 5 weeks ago,it was a very unexpected loss something that i thought would never happen, i feel as though my life without him is very difficult not only was he my grandparent but also like a father to me, my gran and him brought me up from the age of 3 i am 40 now, so it feels like a double blow to me. He was 86 years old and i knew he would not live forever, but i never contemplated life without him i miss him so much. He went into hospital because he had a gallbladder infection never in a million years did i think he would not get out again, i thought that he would get better and life would begin again, but he got blood poisoning and he went downhill very rapidly. Me and my son matthew stayed all night with him never leaving his side, giving him sips of water and sponging him down when he got all clammy speaking to him about all the good times we shared with him, it was in the back of my mind that somehow he pull through from this, i now know that i was in denial, not wanting to think of him dying it was too much to bear keeping myself busy looking after him. I had to tell my gran that granda wasnt going to get better she also was in denial bless her, it was the most painful thing that i had ever had to do that was when i too had to accept this. I felt like running away from the situation maybe if i do that then it might not happen, i feel like i am living a nightmare, hoping i would wake up and it was all a bad dream, i had to face reality and be strong for my gran she was the one that needed me now. My husband took me home for a couple of hours rest i had not slept for 4 nights hadn't eaten a thing, i didn't want to go but my gran said that she would phone me if anything happened so i left my granda with my son and gran as soon as my head hit the pillow, i fell fast asleep. The phone rang about 2 in the morning i started to sob before my husband answered the phone i just knew he was gone big racking sobs came out of me it was the worst feeling in the world.

Comments for HEARTBROKEN

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Nov 02, 2011
HEARTBROKEN TOO
by: Ashley

After reading your experience, I wanted to leave you a comment. My Pa passed away on September 2nd of 2011. He too was like a father to me. He was my everything. He was born on September 4th of 1941. He passed two days before his 70th birthday. I just want you to know that you are not alone. They are always with us. We will see them again one day.


FOR THOSE WE LOVE ARE WITH US FOREVER.
<3 goodluck with everything

Mar 10, 2011
sorry for your loss
by: Melissa

I am so sorry for your loss. I too, lost my beloved Grandmother over 4 months ago now. She was my very best friend in the world, and she raised me. I still can't believe she is really gone. I miss her with every fiber of my being, and will my whole life. I always knew she couldn't stay here forever, and she lived till 94. She fought through many years of being very ill, and the last few years couldn't even talk, or hardly move. I know she fought to stay here for me, because I always told her how much I loved and needed her. I have to be grateful for that, and just for having her as my Gram, and I am. It doesn't take away the horrible pain of missing her though. I am so used to holding her hand and hugging her everyday. Not to be able to touch her anymore is so hard. I just keep telling myself she is in heaven, and out of pain now. Also, I tell myself that she raised me to be strong, and I know that is what she wants me to do. I know she is still with me, guiding me. I can hear her voice still.....

I will keep you in my prayers, as well as everyone else on this site. It is so hard to lose someone you love so much....

Mar 10, 2011
Your Not Alone
by: KC

Its been 7 weeks when I lost my Grandma and 3 years since I lost my Grandpa who raised me. They were both my Mom and Dad and Best Friends who loved me unconditionally. I am 44 years old and quit working to take care of them for the last 10 years. I moved in with them 5 years ago and my Grandpa and Grandma both caught infections while in the hospital and passed away. It hurts real bad to lose them and I still have dreams that it wasn't real and they are still alive. I feel alone right now and the house is empty. They were my rock when I needed them. I am trying to move on but there is still a pain when I think of them and losing them. I try to remember they are no longer suffering and I pray to see them in heaven. Time does heal I believe but there is always that emptiness in your heart to see them again.

Mar 08, 2011
i feel your pain
by: Anonymous

wow...mine just passed the same way...today (march 8 2011) from pneumonia. he woke up about 5 days ago with bad pain everywhere and my gram brought him into the hospital they thought it was gall bladder also and then 3 days later the pneumonia just took over his body and today he passed...

may god rest his soul.

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