Heartbroken

Hi. I am 28 years old and am suffering the loss of a breakup. I have had two other failed relationships. I thought this one was the one. He was so persistent and moved very quickly. Within weeks he told me he loved me, and was talking about kids and marriage a few moths later. For me, it seemed kinda quick. He always wanted to be around me, every day. I almost started feeling smothered. Then little things started happening, jealousy and anger outbursts over nothing. So I wouldn't speak to him and then he would call and apologize. This started happening almost every week for about a 8 months. Finally, he would get mad at me for things I wasn't even doing and started picking me apart. Who I was. I never made him happy, I didn't want to give him what he wanted, anything and everything you could think of he got mad. Like I was walking on eggshells around him. I tried everything to make it work. He started telling me you dont want marriage and kids. I meed a woman who will settle down with me. Im like we fight every week, how could i possibly marry you?? Then he would no longer let me say how I felt, he would say I was arguing with him, when it was due to all the negative things he would say and do. I tried to talk and he never wanted to hear it again. Finally, we got into another one of our arguments and he went behind my back and got a girls number where I worked. I'm completely embarrassed and feel betrayed. When I confronted him, he told me that's what I deserved for being the way I was to him. I feel he did this to manipulate me like he always did. He sincerely believed he did nothing at all to hurt me and it was all me. He told me last week he wasn't in love with me, how could I be he said, look at you. Look it how you act. When I tell you I am just an average person and did nothing to this man, hover him, betray him. I only tried to make it work. So I left. He calls and I haven't responded or spoke to him. Inside, I'm devastated. He is out and about having a great time and here I am devastated by what he said. He said all of these words out of anger all the time. I don't know how I could still feel love or miss someone like this. I'm scared and afraid. Inside I feel how could someone who loved me do this to me. I'm beginning to realize he never did love me at all.

Comments for Heartbroken

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Mar 21, 2012
Time does help
by: Janet

Jen, Judith and Annonymus are all telling the truth. You are a better person than what he deserves. Move on with your life. When you are least expecting it is when you find what you were searching for. Life is not fair but we can be.


Mar 20, 2012
Going through the same
by: Anonymous

Your partner treats. You almost identically to how mine treats me. Only mine would hurt me and say I deserves it and that I was nothing, I was useless and couldn't survive without him. We have just broken up because he said he doesn't love me or want to fix it however now that I'm actually leaving he is acting shocked and hurt and of course blaming it all on me. He says why couldn't you just change? Why can't you understand me? I only get angry when you talk, I'm not like this with anyone else. We need to stay away from these men and not let them have power over us. They are emotionally and verbally abusive and it destroys who you are as a person. I have lost all confidence and sense of self in the three years I've been with this man. Now I'm a single mum as we had a daughter together. Move on with your life because I know you deserve a lot better.

Feb 28, 2012
Un Break your Heart
by: Judith in California

Please read "The Sociopath Next Door". You will gain insight into this type of guy you are deaing with and be glad to let him go. HE is very immature , manipulative and controlling and no normal person would want that in their life. So move on quickly and never speak to him again. You are better than that and you deserve to be in a mutually caring, sharing, loving relationship.

Of course you are hurt but he has no conscience and could care less and never will. Who ever ends up with him will be sorry. Get the lesson and move on.

WE all choose to love someone or un-choose them when our needs are not being met. Choose to be un-brokenhearted over a selfish, manipulative, cold and controlling child.

Choose to find the find man even if it takes a while. Better to be alone than be with Mr. Wrong.

Feb 28, 2012
Heartbroken
by: Janet

I have one question for you that was presented to me some 30 some odd years ago by the son of my best friend at that time, "Why do you want to be with someone who does not want or love you?". It took many years for that question to finally sink in and for me to answer it. My answer finally was "I don't". I wanted to be with someone who loved me and accepted me for me.

Life is too short and you are too young to be going through this. I was very fortunate that I did find someone and I was not looking to be in a relationship at that time. I had come to terms with it was okay to be alone, raise a child alone and not be married. Thankfully, I had 25 plus wonderful years with Jim before his passing this past year.

I am now learning again that it is okay to be alone and who I am now as a person without a partner. It is a long and painful journey but in the end I do believe that I, you and everyone else who travels the road not taken will come out a better person for it.

Just try to take one breath, one step and one day at a time. I leave you with a quote that I ran across the other day that seems to stick in my mind, "Life is the sum of our Choices". I believe that it is what we do with and make of the choices we are given that define who we are as a person.

May God Bless You and Hold You In The Palm Of His Hand.

Feb 27, 2012
you will be ok
by: Jen

I think the pain your dealing with is so hard :(. But honestly it sounds like he is not that great of a guy or at least not meant for you. The things he is saying to you and how he treats you is not what any woman should have to accept. I feel bad for the woman who does :(. Give yourself time and you will heal - you sound like the more rational one in the relationship so stick to what you know to be. Let this guy go and don't look back - you are worth it!!!
Jen

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