Here we go again... :(
(Airdrie AB Canada)
I am Terri, the 'grieving the loss of me' author. I was in an accident on Dec 9 2009. I went from bed ridden for three months, to wheelchair for three months, to walker for two/three months, to crutches for four months up to canes (and sometimes just one cane) until Feb 17th 2011, when I had to have surgery to fix my left femur, now I am back to a wheelchair for two months.
I am being told by my councilor I am still in the grieving process and that is why I am still feeling sad, lonely and angry. I am also being told by my friends and family I should be happy I am almost done with recovering, I should be proud of myself for getting through all this and I should be thankful 'its not as bad as last time'. I am sad that I am still going through this. I am angry because everyone else is 'over this' and Im not. I am lonely with all of these stupid thoughts. I mean this is a set back, this is a looooong time to be stuck alone at home 'waiting to get better' and waiting for everyone to get home.
The worst is when people ask if I have thought of suicide... are you kidding me, I SURVIVED hitting a SEMI, I dragged myself through all of the surgeries, pain, emotions to commit suicide, NOT! I'm just temporarily angry, stressed, sad, frustrated and I have hope to come out of this to live a FULL and joyful life with my loving husband and two great kids! Now I have another month in the wheelchair, not sure if I will be cleared at that point but im hoping to move to crutches and then its just one step at a time...
Im hoping to be back to working by Sept, but I am going to travel this summer and hopefully garden, play and enjoy my family!...but the drs said that last year so...we shall see.