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Here we go again... :(

by Terri
(Airdrie AB Canada)

I am Terri, the 'grieving the loss of me' author. I was in an accident on Dec 9 2009. I went from bed ridden for three months, to wheelchair for three months, to walker for two/three months, to crutches for four months up to canes (and sometimes just one cane) until Feb 17th 2011, when I had to have surgery to fix my left femur, now I am back to a wheelchair for two months.

I am being told by my councilor I am still in the grieving process and that is why I am still feeling sad, lonely and angry. I am also being told by my friends and family I should be happy I am almost done with recovering, I should be proud of myself for getting through all this and I should be thankful 'its not as bad as last time'. I am sad that I am still going through this. I am angry because everyone else is 'over this' and Im not. I am lonely with all of these stupid thoughts. I mean this is a set back, this is a looooong time to be stuck alone at home 'waiting to get better' and waiting for everyone to get home.

The worst is when people ask if I have thought of suicide... are you kidding me, I SURVIVED hitting a SEMI, I dragged myself through all of the surgeries, pain, emotions to commit suicide, NOT! I'm just temporarily angry, stressed, sad, frustrated and I have hope to come out of this to live a FULL and joyful life with my loving husband and two great kids! Now I have another month in the wheelchair, not sure if I will be cleared at that point but im hoping to move to crutches and then its just one step at a time...

Im hoping to be back to working by Sept, but I am going to travel this summer and hopefully garden, play and enjoy my family!...but the drs said that last year so...we shall see.

Comments for
Here we go again... :(

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Stay strong
by: Anonymous

It is ok to still be grieving, that process can last for years for some people, you are doing well to be able to acknowledge it.
Do not listen to others tell you how you should feel, and do not feel guilty for feeling different than others. You are not in the same situation as others, so why do you have to feel the way they feel?
You may never be full strength, but will be full of inner strength and full of life! I'm sure you have learned alot about yourself and your family, you will be able to use that to give them and yourself the best life possible.
We all feel lonely when we are going through this, just read some of the other blogs on here, you will see it yourself. Please do not feel alone in this, we are all feeling the same way, just in different areas.
Thank you for sharing, you helped me feel better about still clinging to this idea that I should be done with this.

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