He's moving far away from me...

by Bella
(California)

I’m 23 years old and I’ll be graduating from college in about a week and a half. Even though I’m supposed to be in a very happy time in my life right now, these last few weeks I’ve been really depressed over a guy who I have become very close to and attached and I don’t know what to do. This year, everything was going great for me. As of January 1, 2011, New Years Day, I started off great and knew 2011 was going to be a great year for me. I was about to graduate from college (in 2 weeks), got a job, started new friendships and had met a wonderful guy who came into my life. He was the perfect guy who had all the qualities I ever wanted in a guy. I met him ending of my second to last semester of college. We started to become really close over winter break and by spring semester, we hung out a lot. Even though I had a crush on him, I never really told him until he was the one who first approached me and told me how he felt and how much he really liked me and had a huge crush on me. After that, we started to become really close and started to talk online and through text a lot. Things were going great. We were so good together; we had a lot in common, thought the same way, and even liked the same things. He was so sweet, treated me right and is very kind hearted always thinking about others. Everything was going great until in March, he told me he had bad news and that he was going to move out of the country (Montreal, Canada) to work for his cousins company there after college. I felt like my entire world collapsed when he said this. However, we continued to hang out and not think about him “moving away”.
It never really hit me up until a week ago when I was thinking about my future and how he won’t be with me this summer. He says that he will keep in touch with me through skype and will let me know anytime he comes to visit LA (all his close friends and half his family live here) but you never know. He told me how he really likes me and that if he wasn’t moving away, we could have been together and started a relationship. This really breaks my heart knowing that if he stayed, he could have been mine and we could have had something. I can’t seem to get this out of my head and it’s been really depressing to me. He doesn’t want long distance, and I can understand why…I don’t think I’d be able to handle that too. He says that me MIGHT be back in a year or so if he ends up not liking there or something but doubts he won’t like it and that he might stay there since he enjoys the lifestyle, which really upsets me and brings my hopes down. I’m just afraid of losing him to someone else and never finding a great guy like him that’s compatible and meets the same standards he did. I really don’t know what to do. I randomly cry at times thinking about this and have been very depressed. People tell m to get over it, but honestly, it’s a lot harder said then done. I don’t think I can get over something like this fast nor will I ever completely be over it. I’ve never liked anyone like this before so I don’t know.
After talking to a few friends about this, they told me that “Everything happens for a reason” and that there must be something good behind this. I really hope there is. They said that I should not try to convince him to stay because a) it won’t work, especially since people have tried already (plus I don’t want to be greedy and selfish by letting him stay here for me) and b) if there is something good coming out of this in the end, it won’t happen by me trying to change his mind to stay. It’s kind of depressing when all your friends are in a relationship and we all go out and I feel like the third wheel… =’( What if I end up being single and not finding that perfect guy, what If I never meet the one and end up alone? =( I really hoped this summer would be the best but I feel like this entire year just got ruined and I’m going to be depressed for a while.

Comments for He's moving far away from me...

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Jul 11, 2012
Broken Hearts 3
by: Anonymous

- I still struggle with letting him go to this day. I can't seem to forget him and move on. I am 24 now and will be starting on a new career and life, in a completely different state. I would be geographically very far from him, but I wonder and fear whether I will be able to forget him. I hope to find someone new and move on, but there are moments when I miss him so much it hurts. I was a fool to ask him to meet me, after all this time, but because I would be leaving soon and I still felt the way I felt for him 8 months ago now, I thought that meeting him would help me and reassure to him how much he has meant to me..... But, this, again, proved to be fatal. I should have held my ground, but I got weak. It was a stupid mistake on my part to ask him to see me and now I'm experiencing more pain and grief. He had first agreed and now he is avoiding me.... I am finding out that he doesn't want to see me, but he was only being kind in saying that he did want to see me too. I guess he is afraid of getting hurt again or rather he just doesn't see the purpose of it if he can't have me.... since he now knows I am moving away. Either ways, it sucks and hurts me. I give you my best wishes darling. I just wanted to share my story with you, in hopes that it might give you some encouragment to keep strong and never lose hope. Good thing for us is that we're so young and there is so much waiting for us in the future. Plus, there are like 7 billion people in this world.... There has got be more than one or two matches for us :) Here's to finding true and perfect love.

Sincerely,

Chloe

Jul 11, 2012
Broken Hearts 2
by: Anonymous

I had met a man early last October. We were really perfect for each in a lot of ways (we both loved music, appreciated art and history, shared a lot of similar values, had great chemistry and soul connection, etc.). I had thought that he was the one that I had been waiting for my whole life. However, little did I know that this man was twice my age; I knew from the beginning that he had to at least be 40, but it never occurred to me that he might be in his late forties, which, unfortunately, made all the difference in the world for me. When the truth of his age came up in conversation, the number ended any potential I felt we had for a relationship. He was twice my age and I didn't know how to handle it. I kept thinking about my disapproving parents and my shocked friends. I couldn't think that this was a realistic relationship to pursue. The whole thing, all of a sudden.... my attraction and my developing love for this man repulsed me and confused me about myself. I suppose we really can't control who we fall for in life. This was not the ideal that I had in mind about falling in love and finding true love. I never would have dreamt that my true love might come in the form of a 48 year old man. I would never have anticipated that I would fall for someone so much older than me, but it happened nevertheless and it had left me very broken-hearted for several months. It has been 8 months since we had seen each other and I am still going through the heartache of having to let him go despite my feelings for him. I hated and still hate the fact that I can't get over this age thing and that that was the only reason why I had to end it. It makes me feel shallow and weak (caving in to societal pressures and expectations), but I kept thinking about how such a large age gap was doomed for failure in the end and how my relationship with such an older man would be a cause of a lot of resentment and disappointment from family and friends.

Jul 11, 2012
Broken Hearts
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you. What you're going through is absolute pain and I can only imagine your sadness and hurt right now. I don't want to say that I know exactly how you feel, but I can say that I might have an inkling or two about it and may understand that all this will take a lot of time and effort. My story is not so different from yours in that I had also fallen in love with someone I couldn't be with or wouldn't be able to be with. It's truly devastating when this happens, but it happens to the best of us.


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