by Hilary

Olliver and I were married for 23 years, but it turned out that for the last five years of that he was having an affair. At 18 months from the end I knew and confronted him, he denied anything was happening so we continued. I knew he was lying, he knew I knew he was lying. He went on a cathedral singers week (choir filling in for cathedral boys on hols) in York, the place we went on our honeymoon!!! I had to call him with a message from job agency, he answered phone breathlessly and wanting to get off the line, totally out of character. Called operator to see how to call number with no trace of caller. Did that to 'lady' I knew was involved, no answer......called later, same. So called hotel olliver was staying in and asked if Mr and Mrs southgate staying there......answer was yes. Called Ol in pub and told him he better come home and pack his bags. This was 11 years ago, I should be over it, I'm over him, the man. Hate him, dont know him at all. But mourn the fact I am alone, feel lonely and hate the fact that he has made decisions about my life that I had no say in. I am a naturally friendly person, who loves to help and look after people so I hate being alone and having no one to take care of. Children are adults and have lives of their own which is brill and actually a sign that what we did was good

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Jul 20, 2014
by: Doreen UK

Hillary You have survived. Applaud yourself for this and moving forward no matter how difficult this has been. Perhaps if you saw RELATE they may be able to support you with the ENDING OF A RELATIONSHIP. Tying up some loos threads of a relationship that perhaps is stopping you from believing in yourself and moving forward. You do need to GRIEVE THE LOSS OF A RELATIONSHIP before you can even feel ready to find someone else, if this is what you want. There are many ways to find fulfilment in life and this may be even giving your life to some project you find fulfilling. You may eventually meet someone in the future for companionship or however you want to take a new relationship to. We all need companionship and this is how we feel fulfilled in life. WE don't survive well in isolation. Remember you still have your FREEDOM. Value it and make it work in positive ways to give you a more fulfilling life.

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