by Jack

It's almost 5 months now since I lost my Hakan. I'm home in NYC and finally getting to move into my apt in a few more days. When the coop board approved me the other day all I could feel was sadness. It's really so final and I miss him so much. I go into stores and look at things for the new apt and I start to cry and have to walk out on the street. We made all the decisions together and now its just me. I might try a grief support group for some help. I'm exhausted all the time. Thanks again for letting me share my feelings. God bless all of you! Jack

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Aug 14, 2011
we hear ya


Not being able to share our day with our Loves is so difficult to adjust to. I am heading towards the 2 year mark and though time really does make it easier (not easy) to begin our new life, the fact that we really are truly alone after having a best friend companion and lover is excruciatingly hard.

I wish that I had all the answers to make this an easier process for you but in truth, grief is something that is painful and must be worked through. Just know that you are not alone, we know what you mean when your heart is broken and we will always listen to you when you need someone to understand.

Aug 13, 2011
Welcome home
by: M Mack


Life certainly takes it's toll on all of us that lose our soulmate. Even the best of news is not so great with nobody to share it with. I understand how sad you feel and I have ups and down like that too since the love of my life is gone.
Just remember to love yourself for now and keep on trying to use a happy face. Eventually your smile will become more genuine, real and peaceful. I can't explain it a little over a year and I actually feel at peace. Still have bad days but I know he is always around me spirit. In fact I'm sure of it. Good luck with the new apartment and try stepping forward one day at a time. My best to you.

Aug 13, 2011
by: Annie

I know what you are going though. The 21st will be eight months since I lost my husband. My house is for sale and I am going to start a new job in a couple of weeks (I have not worked for three years). Leaving the job interview, I had to pull over and cry. I guess when something new happens in your life, the reality really sets in that you are on your own and making all the decisions without your partner. I then realized Clyde was with me. Not his body but his spirit. He was there when I put the house on the market, he was there when I interviewed for the job and he is with me 24/7. I can't touch him but I know he is there guiding and loving me. I am so honored and humbled that I had him in my life and still do.

I know all of this sounds crazy but that is how I am getting through the days of decisions and changes. Hakan is there with you. Close your eyes, slow your breathing and feel him all around you and hopefully you will feel some peace.

Please join a group; it will help. You will find you are not so alone. It will get better in time and you will realize you are not the same person you were five months ago. Love the new you and know all of us on this site are there for you whenever you need us.

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