I lost my husband of 31 years on December 21, 2010. He was diagnosed with cancer on July 27th so I did have almost four months with him. People say at least I had that time with him but I was too busy taking care of him, trying to find the cure for cancer and watching him deteriorate further every day. This situation that is called "Grief" is so hard. It has been over three months since I lost him and it is harder now. I guess the numbness has worn off and reality is setting in. The lonEliness is over-whelming. I miss him so much. I did start going to grief therapy and that has helped. I have learned that this society does not understand, talk about or honor grief. A lot of my friends and family can't understand why I am not "normal" again after three months. This just adds additional anxiety on me. My head tells me to get on with my life but my heart does not want to. It is like my head and heart are in conflict. My heart is broken and there is no bandages, pills or surgery that can fix it. So I will continue with my therapy and hope one day I will be "normal" again.