How can I be ok one minute and then the next be so sad?

by Maria
(nc)

Anyone else out there feeling the same way? It has been just about 3 months. I wonder if I am doing ok? I wonder if I am facing this enough. There is an under lying sadness but I am getting done what needs to get done. Am I ok? As I write this I feel the tears welling up and I miss him terribly. I don't want to make anymore decision! I just want to be. I just want the world to stop. I am dizzy from all the decisions I have had to make. Tiamo my love Tiamo

Comments for How can I be ok one minute and then the next be so sad?

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Apr 29, 2011
How Can I be OK One Minute
by: Terri

It has been 3 1/2 months since my husbands death. I am 48 years old and he was only 50. Still do not know the cause of death. I feel exactly the same way you describe. The last 3 months have been a blur but I seem to be getting done what needs to be done but the last few days have almost been as hard or harder than when he first died. Reality is starting to sink in I believe. I have to make every decision by myself and I dont like it. I can only tell you that there are others out there that may not be able to make you feel better but at least you know there are people who can completely understand your feelings. I feel all alone. I am trying to find a support group in my area, maybe you can do he same. I pray that each day becomes a bit easier. I pray this for you as well as myself. Come her often it will help.

Apr 28, 2011
Trish
by: Mari

Trish. Your post made me think when you said you visit people thinking it would help. But then you wish you were not there.The only place I am glad to be is work and church.
My daughter has invited me to her home for a week in LA. I am not sure how it will be either.I have not really been anywhere far or where I don't come home at night.
Lately I have had some roller coaster rides and a flood of memories. I think the realization that my husband is never coming back has really hit. I am carrying a full load and dealing with everything.
My heart goes out to you. I think eventually we will be able to cope better.We always have God to help us through. Take care of yourself.

Apr 28, 2011
the grief ride...
by:

Maria,

Regardless of how you deal with your grief you are going o.k. Your grief will be like no one elses specifically. But please continue to come here and read. Write when you need to vent your feelings. You will see that you are not alone. We all share a common bond here. It is the one place where you can be your true raw self. No one will ever judge you only support you in the rough ride of grief.

Feeling o.k one minute and having a meltdown the next is something that we all have gone through many times. Again and again that is why we refer to it as a (horrible) roller coaster ride. Many o.k days followed by a few really crummy ones.

Just go where grief takes you. It will not steer you wrong only you know what you need. Trust yourself, you will be guided through grief by your own instinct. There is no right or wrong way.
HH

Apr 28, 2011
roller coaster ride
by: Mari

Hi Maria. May God be with you at this difficult time. Being ok and then sad seems to be what others are going though as well as myself. It is part of the grieving process. I know you miss your loved one and it has not been very long. I believe the ups and downs are from memories and missing your loved one.
There are stages to get through and it is important to go through them as we have to go on. Give yourself that needed time.
It has been a year and 5 months since my husband passed away and I have made it thus far but I miss him so much. I just have to keep going. That is all there is to it. It is hard. I have a new part time job. I also have a new great grandbaby. So God continues to bless me.
Our loved ones are with the Lord, safe and out of pain.
Remember we are here for you whenever you need to talk and we care. This is a wonderful board. Take care of yourself and take one day at a time. You are not alone. Mari

Apr 28, 2011
7 months foe me
by: Anonymous

It's been 7 months since my 36 yr. old son completed suicide. Still have more tearful days then smiles. Yesterday was the first time since he passed that I actually didn't have tears rolling down my face, I did well up but never sobbed. That's not to say today or tomorrow I won't step backward and cry like a baby. The loss of someone we love deeply & unconditionally whether a son, daughter, mother, father, husband or wife is the greatest loss of all. Take your time, cry when you need to, this is the new normal for us, we will never be the same, never look at things the same but one day we will learn to smile & cope with our losses.

Apr 28, 2011
I know how you feel!
by: Ilana

It's been almost a year for me since my mother passed away and I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm a mess. I am seeing a grief counselor who is helping me come to terms with my mother's death and the change in my family dynamics (mainly my father dating).

What you are going through is completely normal. My counselor told me to let it all out because if you hold everything in, eventually it will build up later. So let yourself have a good cry!

Apr 28, 2011
Roller Coaster Ride!!!
by: TrishJ

I've heard the grief journey referred to (too many times) as an unwelcome roller coaster ride of emotions. One minute we're up and without any warning we're down. I think grief is actually worse than a roller coaster ride. At least on a roller coaster you can usually see the scary plunge downward coming and be a little prepared for it.
I tried to act as if everything was normal the first few months after Joe died. I thought going somewhere with friends and family sounded like a good idea. When I got there I didn't want to be there. It's been almost 5 months for me and I feel like I've made slow but steady progress. Some days it's one step forward and 2 steps back. The simplest little things will reduce me to tears. I'm by myself a lot but I'm working through it. Consider joining a grief support group with other people who are experiencing grief. It can be very comforting. If you don't like the group you choose, try another one. Please keep coming to this site. You need to express your feelings, your sadness and your accomplishments. Part of our heart remains inconsolable forever ~ we just learn to adjust. It's never the same again and we can't expect it to be.
God's Blessings to you.

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