How can I ever forget my Dad

by Vesna J
(Nis, Serbia)

Almost 40 days have passed since I lost my Dad...I 've been feeling sad,lost,even angry and still find it hard to cope with the fact he's left us forever..I expect he will walk in any moment and this can't be final...when he was admitted to hospital 3 weeks prior to his death I thought it would just be healing and returning home for Easter..he didn't live long enough for that..Sometimes I feel angry we even hospitalized him, thinking all that medication has done him more harm and eventually killed him..feel enormous guilt..and on the other hand have to learn to let go because it was the only right way to do..I miss you Dad,I just regret we didn't spend more quality time together and we couldn't express our feelings in a proper way..I hope you felt how much I loved you when I held your hand and brought things you loved to the hospital and fed you...I forgave you for our imperfect relationship, for the non verbalized feelings, I just need to forgive myself now for not trying harder to fight for you..
No matter what I loved you and still don't believe you're gone..
Rest in Peace..

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May 31, 2013
How can I ever forget my Dad
by: Doreen U.K.

Vesna I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. Much like me I thought my husband would get a miracle of healing from his deadly cancer that destroyed his body. But he didn't. He died 13months ago and I too am left lonely and sad for the loss of a super guy.
The way you feel is normal. WE search and seek more answers and sort of think that we wished we had made better decisions and spent more time, and been more supportive. You are not unlike many families who don't have a strong family bonding and wished they did. It is only when we lose that person that our relationship comes under question and we feel this sudden void in our life. Days we can't cope with life and we lose our motivation to do anything.
To never see our loved one again is really so very difficult to live with. WE spend years together and suddenly that person is not here anymore just makes life so unbearable and lonely without them. Death is cruel. Just think of all our loved ones who will one day mourn our passing. It almost feels so very cruel even though we know death will come. You will never forget your dad. You will have him in your heart and your memories forever. Take one day at a time and talk often. This is how you are going to heal from your loss. Forgiving ourselves for our shortcoming is the hardest to do. But it is possible in time that we heal from our loss otherwise we would not be able to go on in life.

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