How can I live with out her

by Kendra
(Torrington, wy)

1 month ago on June 30, 2012 my mother went to meet with the lord. However I though I had prepared my self for this and would not need to grieve. She was 54 and passed away from complications of MS. It was very unexpected, I was by her bedside for the 2 days before she passed, we went to visit her at the nursing home all the time but for some reason I have lots of regrets like not going to see her the day before she got really sick. I am now starting to grieve it has hit me like a ton of lead bricks and I am not sure how to cope I am only 29 I feel like by being the oldest daughter I need to step in and fill her shoes for my dad and 23 year old sister, but do I? I think about all the good times but then those last few days run throughy head and its like a bad dream, I just want her back but I know that won't happen. I just need to get through this but how?

Comments for How can I live with out her

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Aug 10, 2012
My deepest sympathy
by: Jacklyn Jackson

I just want to send my deepest sympathy to you. It is never easy to lose someone we love. But always remember that life goes on. I hope you find comfort in loving memories of your mother.

Aug 06, 2012
How can I live without her
by: Doreen U.K.

Kendra I am sorry for your loss of your mother. NO! I don't think as the oldest child that you have to stand in for your mother by being in charge of your 23yr. old sister and your father. Be supportive and look out for them by caring. But don't step into your mother's shoes and feel you have to be their caretaker. Set boundaries. Where respect can be maintained. You will all Honour each other better this way.
We all live with regrets. It is part of Life. We have a human nature that doesn't make us perfect. We will make mistakes. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made. Perhaps this is why you want to be a caretaker for your father and sister. This may be your way of making up for not seeing your mother often. You haven't let anyone down. You have a life and have to live it the best way you know how. What you do get to do now is make a CHOICE that you WILL MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE
for your sister and father so that you will live with less regrets. None of us know how to cope with a death and the loss this causes us in terms of grief and pain. We take one day at a time. Grief is painful. Sorrow hurts our soul. But it is a stage of grief and we weather this storm daily. Your mother can't feel your sorrow and regret over losing her. As a mother she would overlook any failings. That is what MOM'S do. I hope that life gets easier in the days ahead and that you will put some perspective on your grief that will allow you to cope with this.

Aug 05, 2012
How do you prepare yourself
by: Nancy

Hi Kendra, my name is Nancy. I have a younger sister by the name of Kendra..it is a name that is not very common...so it is kind of nice to see it...
But truly how does some one get ready to let go of their mom. I am a mom...I am 56..I have a daughter Tanya who is 30, she just turned 30 on June 10th... I have had some health issues recently and it would scare me to think that Tanya was preparing to let me go. I am a relatively religious person and she is not. She does not challenges whether there is a Heaven or a Hell whether there is a God or not...but it really isn't even about that...it is about letting go..I think it our minds... we think that we have done.. and maybe even said all the things that we think that we've needed to say but it's our mom... the person who has cared for us, nurtured us, challenged us, sang to us, taught us how to walk, talk, laugh, and dance. She made sure we were ready for our first love...and now to let go...never..we will never learn to do that..even when we are old and gray...our moms will be in our hearts to share with others...the love prints...she put on us to imprint..on the many generations to come...so don't ever think that you will ever be ready to let her go...her scents, and smells, her laughter, and joy her memories are all around...so don't ever let her go......NANCY

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