How did you find God?

by Nancy N.
(Rocky Mountains)

Hi all,

I lost my husband in June after a terrible battle with cancer. I thought I was ready to accept his death cause he was so sick, but apparently not. I am devastated. I just don't know how to get through the day anymore.

I am working fulltime, and I get tasks done that wont wait, but other than that, my days are filled with despair. We did not have children, I guess that might have helped me.

I have read many of your posts, and do find some comfort in knowing I am not the only one in this fix. But I have noticed that the ones who proclaim to believe in God seem to be coping better than others. I really envy that and would love to find solace and comfort in God if I could.

I guess you would say I am a Christian although I sometimes doubt. I have tried praying to God, "accepting him into my heart" and laying my troubles onto him. Yet I really don't think I am "getting it" because I haven't seen that this has helped my pain and grief in any way. Maybe I am being naive in thinking this might be a simple thing to do.

I know this is probably a weird question, but can anybody tell me how to find God and receive the benefits others have described? I mean specifically, how exactly do you do this? I am grasping for whatever it takes for me to get through this terrible grief and come out sane and find some happiness again.

Thanks for listening,

Comments for How did you find God?

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 04, 2010
Be at peace with 'your' God
by: Betty

I feel exactly the same way. I envy those with such deep faith. My Mom was like that; she knew her God and her faith was unshakable. I just can't get to that level myself either. One thing that brings me comfort is a line from The Desiderata;

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. Therefore, be at peace with your God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should".

Dec 04, 2010
How did you find God?
by: Mari

Nancy, I am sorry for your loss. It takes time for healing and there will be sad days. We are all here for you. Healing is a process that we just have to go through.

Do you have a church you attend? It would be a great help. If you do, have the pastor pray with you. God hears you but you are grieving and it is hard to ''let go and let God take over.'' God grieved too when his only son gave his life for us.

My pastor said that Jesus is right beside us. Just call on him for comfort.

Church helps in the healing process because you have fellowship with others and you get the word. God says that where 2 or more are gathered in his he is in the midst of them.

There may also be a Bible study group in the church for women. Our church has one on Thursdays nights and the men's is on Monday nights. Our Bible study group is called ''Women of lightening.'' God's presence can be felt strongly.

Getting close to God is a gradual process with reading the word. Just the fact that you are wondering how others found God shows a real desire on your part to know him. And don't think God does not hear you. He does.

Christians tend to cope better because God's holy spirit lives in them. Give yourself time and study the word. Keep posting. God loves you and values you. Mari

Dec 04, 2010
Need for God
by: Colleen

I am sorry for your pain. I am sure God is listening to you. Do not forget we all show our grief in different ways. The people who seem to find comfort in God just have a different way in expressing their grief. Please do not be hard on yourself. I lost my husband to cancer on the 16 November 2010; I watched him suffer for nine weeks in hospital and I was not ready to let him go. I have still not accepted his death, but please visit this site often, as it is a great comfort.

Dec 03, 2010
Finding God
by: Judith

Nancy, you don't have to "find" God. He is always here for you. He is there to listen and you talk to him until. He is always in control but we are not. Every time I'd put my wishes in to him I always knew it was His will be done and not mine. But when my husband could no longer talk very good and I suspected he had pneumonia I loudly prayed "God please take him because he has no life and if he couldn't communicate with me how could I possibly care for him properly?" And I asked what kind of God would let him suffer this way? Well my husband died 3 days later. Coincidence? You tell me.

Those of us who cared for our ill spouses are all too familiar with mercifully praying for them to die, because we hate them suffering, not because we want out of it. As much as we tell ourselves we are prepared it still hurts like hell to lose them.

I know if he had not died I'd still be here to care for him how ever long it took.

God decided it was time and I had to let go. And God, in his infinite wisdom, will give all of us who are grieving peace to a different life when he thinks it's time. We must believe.

Take care Nancy and believe.

Dec 03, 2010
Need for God
by: Ms Mack


I am so sorry you are in such pain. I too feel the same sadness like the others. We are going to experience those days and nights when we can't stand it anymore. I'm told this is normal. Let it happen, then think about happiness. It could be a beautiful park, the beach, a garden and you will not see God, but you will feel his love.

God is everywhere, even in mundane day to day tasks. All you need is to believe in yourself and that's God. Talk to him about everything and he will show you comfort. That's the only way I seem to make it these days. I'm trying and so should you. Don't give up. See if you can, all the really good out there in every situation. I wish for you serenity and peace and my prayers are with you.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!