How do I go on without my mama?
by Jo Macal
On August 29, 2013 I lost my strong, beautiful mama. Right now I am in the depression part of the grieving process and feeling like I don't know how I can go on without her. All I do is cry and cry and and feel like I am distancing myself from everyone and everything. Mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in December of 2011 and was given 6 months to live. We were all devastated and in a state of shock. My mom was only 60 at the time and of course everyone always feels like it will never happen to their family. Well, it happened to ours. Our matriarch, the one person that always held us together was sick so now we had to be her rock, but of course she proved to us what we already knew about her, and that is how strong she was and that she had too much to live for to just give up. She fought with all her might and lived almost 2 years after she was diagnosed. I only saw her cry about her condition one time, otherwise it was her trying to console us and being positive. She was my best friend and confidant and I am so very lost without her. I will never forget how proud of her children and grandchildren she was and how much she loved all of us. She was unwavering in her strong spirit and love no matter what she was going through she always had time for us. I miss her voice...I miss her laugh...I miss her hugs...I miss her smile...I miss her presence...I just miss you mom!