How do I go on without my mama?

by Jo Macal
(Iowa)


On August 29, 2013 I lost my strong, beautiful mama. Right now I am in the depression part of the grieving process and feeling like I don't know how I can go on without her. All I do is cry and cry and and feel like I am distancing myself from everyone and everything. Mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in December of 2011 and was given 6 months to live. We were all devastated and in a state of shock. My mom was only 60 at the time and of course everyone always feels like it will never happen to their family. Well, it happened to ours. Our matriarch, the one person that always held us together was sick so now we had to be her rock, but of course she proved to us what we already knew about her, and that is how strong she was and that she had too much to live for to just give up. She fought with all her might and lived almost 2 years after she was diagnosed. I only saw her cry about her condition one time, otherwise it was her trying to console us and being positive. She was my best friend and confidant and I am so very lost without her. I will never forget how proud of her children and grandchildren she was and how much she loved all of us. She was unwavering in her strong spirit and love no matter what she was going through she always had time for us. I miss her voice...I miss her laugh...I miss her hugs...I miss her smile...I miss her presence...I just miss you mom!

Comments for How do I go on without my mama?

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Oct 19, 2013
Dear Jo
by: Anonymous

I lost my father, and I feel the same way. He was such a smart, funny, caring man who was so proud of his grandchildren. He died suddenly...no warning, no issues. He suffered Cardiac Arrest. Nine months have gone by, and I think about him all of the time. I still cannot believe that he is gone. I know he would want me to laugh and be happy, so I try to cherish my memories and laugh about all of the good times we had. I feel blessed that my kids got to know him, and we know he is watching over us. I hope you find some peace in your memories as you continue to heal. Barb

Oct 17, 2013
from Lisa
by: Lisa

Jo, I am so sorry. I read your story and it seems so familiar. My mom didn't die of lung cancer, but a sudden lung disease. Your mom sounds like she was an amazing woman. Just cry as much as you can and remember all of those good times, then cry some more. Share these with friends, it seems to help, then cry. My mom always said it is good to cry and cleanse your soul.
The pic you posted is beautiful! Embrace those memories!
Take care and my sympathies are with you.

Oct 17, 2013
I'm So Sorry
by: Debbie

My mom had the same lung cancer from smoking & with chemo & radiation it went into remission for a year. I dont know if they ever checked her for it during that year. Mother didnt share her information with me and she was mean to me, but I still miss her so much. I must be so much harder if she was a good mother. Hang in there, grieving is the hardest thing we will go through. God love you!

Oct 17, 2013
I can truly feel your greif
by: Rodney Smith

Jo. So sorry you lost your mom to that despicable disease called cancer. It is one thing I wish the good Lord would un invent.

I lost my mom to brain cancer on August 8 2013 and my dad is palliative waiting to die of brain cancer. I know I have never been so depressed as I have been this summer. It has totally set me on edge as I am sure it has you too. All I can say is keep on trying. I have hope the grieving process will get a bit easier with time.

It has helped me to read some of the other stories on this site and realize we are certainly not alone.

Shalom always

Rodney in Brandon Manitoba Canada

Oct 17, 2013
How do I go on without my mama?
by: Doreen UK

Jo I am sorry for your loss of your mom to lung cancer. My husband died 17 months ago from lung cancer. He survived 3yrs. with a difficult cancer caused from Asbestos. His cancer was inoperable, incurable, and aggressive. It is a horrible disease and battle for the family having to observe their loved one have this disease and deteriorate each day.
Crying a lot is good grief so don't stop. One day the crying won't be so hard and long. No one should judge you on this or how your grief and for how long. There is no timetable to grieving. It hurts so bad to lose someone we love so much and who was our someone to lean on.
The best way to go on is ONE DAY AT A TIME. This helps immensely. You will have good days and bad days. We all recover from grief in time. But it can take months into years. Try and nurture yourself each day. It helps immensely. It raises our self esteems and helps one cope better with the grief experience.

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