How do I go on?

by Steve
(Buffalo,NY)

My wife of 32 years passed away suddenly two weeks ago. I don't even know the real reason she passed. The official cause of death was cardiac arrest, but the doctor said she could have had a blood clot. The thing that really hurts is I never had a chance to say I love you one more time and kiss her goodbye. I believe she didn't suffer, because I am thinking it was almost instantaneous. And I am glad for that. I am also glad she got to have her favorite food for her last meal. But I miss her so much and feel empty. I am focusing o tasks that need to be done, but otherwise think about her. I try to think of the good times, but that doesn't make any it any easier.

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Dec 18, 2011
One step at a time
by: Angie

My love of my life/soulmate Davie died of cardiac arrest on 12 Nov 2011.I have had the worst 5 weeks of my life,but on the very odd occasion I have remembered little things that have made me smile.The emptiness is always there.I have written Davie loads of letters just telling him I Love Him because like you I never got a chance to say it to him that day.I am taking one minute at a time at the moment that is all I can manage,it is one tiny step at a time.It may be a long n bumpy journey but hopefully we will all get through this eventually.Take care of You.

Sep 13, 2011
How do I go on
by: Pat J

Steve,

I lost my husband of 46 years, the day after our anniversary of a massive heart attack. I ask myself everyday, how am I going to live without him. He is the love of my life. It was 12 weeks yesterday that he died. I miss everything about him. I am living one day at a time, at times faking it until I can make it. I will always have this ache in my heart, but the pain does lessen, but the ache I feel will always be there. When we loose a spouse, we loose a part of ourselves. I tell everyone, the day my husband died, a part of me went with him. I know in my heart I will always love him and cherish his memory. I know I have this life to live, but it just is going to be a different life. Right now I still don't like this life.
I talk to my husband many times during the day When I go to bed I tell him good night and that I will always love him. When I wake up in the morning I say good morning to him. I know he will not answer me, but for me, that is what I need to do for me.
Be patient with yourself and just do what ever you need to do to make it through each day. Our loved ones are watching over us and will always be with us. We do not see them or hear them but I know in my heart, that my husband is always with me. His spirit lives on. Cherish your wife'e memory, that is the greatest gift that she left you.

Sep 12, 2011
Take It Easy
by: TrishJ

Steve~
While you are in the initial stage of grief nothing makes sense ~ and it shouldn't ~ not right now. You are basically still in a state of shock. It's been a little over nine months for me and things are just now starting to fall into place. That doesn't mean I don't miss my husband so much that my heart aches. I will always love him but he's gone. I long to hear his voice and touch his hand one more time. I still have the ache but it's not quite so painful. The stab me in the heart pain is beginning to subside. I have come to terms with his death. I know his death is all part of God's plan and I have to go on. It's difficult every day. For now you just need to concentrate on getting those little things done that you need to attend to and not much else. You need to take care of you. This site has taught me to take it one day at a time. Don't think about next week or tomorrow for that matter. Get through today, wake up tomorrow, put one foot in front of the other and try to get through the best you can. If you should happen to backslide, that's OK too.
This is a beautiful site where you can come and pour your heart out. We are all grieving.
God bless you. Take care of yourself.

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