How Do I say goodbye to my friend?

I received a phone call on 1/18/2011 from a co-worker telling me the sad news that a dear friend (another co-worker) had passed away in a horrible car accident the night before. Matt was a great friend, we had worked together for 8 years. He was always joking and cutting up. We talked about our kids, our spouses, and things that bothered us in life. Not a day went by that he didn't come over to bug me or to just talk.

I got to work on Tuesday after getting the awful news and it was like it just wasn't real. I couldn't believe it. Then the stories started, of how the accident happened what took place and so on. I felt physically sick. I am so angry!!! The story is he went out with some friends to celebrate his divorce, it was finalized the day he died.

They all were drinking they left and went home and he stayed at the restaurant. On his way home he was speeding and ran off the road and hit a tree head on. The car exploded. The accident took place in the yard of his best friend! His best friend tried to get him out of the car but the flames had engulfed the car and he was pinned in from the impact. They say he was running 90 MPH and that he died on impact.

He was only 28 years old and had two six year old children who were his world. I know there is no-one to blame, accidents happen. I just have this empty feeling in my chest. I miss him, when I'm at work I look up to see if I see him coming over to bug me, but I will never see him coming through that door again. I will never hear his laugh, or see his wonderful smile.

I want so bad to scream at everyone, why did you leave him there you knew he had been drinking why didn't you make him leave. The accident report doesn't say anything about alcohol being involved in the wreck, it just stated the cause of the accident was excessive speed. So I'm not even sure alcohol had anything to do with the accident.

I know there are people that will miss him 1000 times more than me like his mother, his father, his sister, HIS CHILDREN!! My pain is nothing compared to theirs!! They see him everyday they spent a lifetime with him!! I just worked with him......but he was my friend!!

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