How do I survive without him?

by mom
(mass)

My son passed away unexpectedly sept20,2012,His friend found him when they were scrapping metal.Apparently,he touch electrical lines,but we don't know ,they are doing an autopsy on him,to see if it was something else..He was only 29,two weeks short of his 30th birthday.I am having a very hard time dealing with this,I fine myself just wanting to curl up and die...I don't know how to function right,I can't stop crying,I don't want to feel this way forever!!!I'm trying to figure out how to survive without him,and I just don't have any answers....How long is this misery going to last,everyone one says time will heal,but I don't feel that for the future!!!!

Comments for How do I survive without him?

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Aug 16, 2014
my son spencer
by: Anonymous

my son Spencer died on 4th of august 2013.his death was unascertained after waiting 7 months.for coroners inquest but we were given same report three days after death .today is anniversary of his funeral .i have struggled to accept his death .we have had people say he committed suicide even though this was ruled out .just no answer as to what happened could have been electrocution but not enough evidence so left with no real understanding of what happened to my son .the day before we were with him and he said felt dizzy next day couldnt contact him .and got help to see if he was alright .but he was gone .to late can never hug him or tell him i love him and he didnt deserve people to make assumptions about his death and neither did we .there was not alcohol or drugs involved .just left with no real answers which has made it so much harder to cope with.so i understand how other parents feel .its a pain till you experience losing a child you could never imagine .adult children are still ours and still breaks our hearts to lose them .i have grieved for a year but can honestly say first few months dont remember much of what i did said ect .it has been hard on my young son as he was 17 years younger.he had lost his dad 3 years before than .we were divorced but how do you go on .as i struggle every day

Oct 30, 2013
Oh My Chad, I can't go on!
by: Phyllis...Chads Mom

Honey you express my feelings exactlly, I lost my chad 2 years ago this Dec 15, it has taken most of me with it. Like you he lived close was here all the time, called me everyday sometimes 2 or 3 times,he was my best buddy, my trusted friend friend, my helper, the light in my life, He always was the jokester,always helped me cook, he loved my cooking, I sill have not been able to make his favorites since he left us. I have his things saved & a lock of his beautiful auburn curly hair, they all still small just like him, I have his voice saved on a recorder & a videos of him& oh the wonderful memories. I cry everyday, the pain is so bad. the knowing we can not see our boys ever again on this earth, the hole left in our hearts & lives is too big, I pray hard for help, I pray for all us mothers who have lost children, the only thing of comfort we have is getting to have them while they were here & knowing they will be with us in Heaven. Everything I see & do reminds me of him, I hate him missing out on his life, I am so very sorry for you, I well know the pain

Oct 30, 2013
Death and grief
by: Anonymous

It does so much to us and it is all normal that we are lost in a place where we can't find ourself. It is so overwhelming that is why we are so sad hurt lost grieving pain ridden and all. It's too much to absorb at once.

Oct 29, 2013
mom
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your comments,today was a very bad day for me,I could not even get out of bed till this afternoon.I find myself walking around in circles!I have cut ties with friends because of comments that they said about my son.they thought they were comforting me when they put me into a deeper depression!!I used to believe in god and now I am questioning him?It's just so hard ,my son would come over once or twice everyday,he would call 2-3 times a day..not hearing from him is killing me,knowing I will never hear his voice again..I'm just praying this pain will subside soon,I use to want to get out ,go shopping ,make new dishes for dinner,play with the grand kids,now all I want is to be left alone and do nothing!!!

Oct 29, 2013
Your son,by mom
by: christine

I know the loss is so unbelievable. My son died a sudden death Nov. 12, 2012. You have to go through the grief process. That is different for all of us, there is no time limit. My one strength has been God. He has been with me every step of the way. The only hope I know is that my son and I have just taken different roads for now and we will meet up again. That being said still makes it very difficult. I just pray you have God and you turn to Him for strength and comfort God be with you.

Oct 29, 2013
Copeing
by: Judith in California

I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain and shock will wear off in time. The heartbreak will stay for a much longer period. Time is your best friend for now. The misery, as you put it, will last as long as it last. You can only do this one breath, one minute, one day at a time. You must take this grief journey in your own way for as long as it takes. Those of us who have lost our loved ones have asked the same question about how long it will last. We find out it last until. WE never get over it but we do learn to cope with the loss in time. Some of us have to join grief support groups, some must have individual counseling, some of us talk with our Heavenly Father daily and pray for peace and understanding. HE has helped me a lot.

May God help you find peace and acceptance at the end of giref's journey.

Oct 29, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

Oh how my heart goes out to you" I lost my son at 39, he was the nicest kindest guy! My life has been so empty without him. I have been wandering in shock sorrow pain grief misery and darkness for almost a year. Nov 17 it will be one year,I do not know how!!! Unexpected death do a child is the biggest shock and the pain within is horrible. I feel you. You can only take one day at a time,some days are not as strong as others,some are worse but somehow we do go on. God has helped me inch along. He will you too. Heartfelt feeling to you in this deep sadness.

Oct 29, 2013
My Brother
by: Vern

Mom

I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words to say or nothing that can be done to ease your pain. My brother committed suicide and he was only 21. My Mother, his Mother could not stand the pain either. It almost caused Mom and Dad to get divorced and it was like the white elephant in the room.

I do not want to say it will get better to you because your wound is fresh. It does take a lot of time for the grieving process to be completed. My brother has been dead since 77 and I still can remember it so vividly. I have never been the same since. I just get by. My Mother is gone now but she too felt a lot like you. I am so sorry.

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