How i suffer everyday with out my son

by karen ocasio
(new york )

My sweet boy Albert why did he take his life

He was very special to me he was my oldest child.He was so cute. man the first day i saw him. Was one of the best days of my life oh my god i cryed for 2 weeks i could not beleave he was mine.He was half black and half white he had the nicest brown skin big brown eyes long eyelashes.Was a happy child and hiper very hiper.I had got him tested they found out he had ADHD i got him on meds. But i didnt give it to him at night because he would have nightmares.He was very smart and he liked climbing up trees running around spending time with me alone somtimes the things he would say alot of things play back in my head but mommy why or one day he said i love u mommy i said you who he said mommy you buy yohoo and mommy are you happy to me or mommy i love you more then peanutbutter and jelly i would give him such a look and he would laugh every time because he knew i didnt like to eat thats just silly things that he would say to me. Well as he got older he clamed down alot electronics he liked to put motors on a peiece of wood with lights all kinds of stuff. He liked to collact money old money bills and coins. every christmas or on his birthday i would say Albert what do you want for christmas or for his birthday mommy i want to go with you to the coin shop and see what the have i said ok. Then he was old enough to get his permit before he went he said mom i need to talk to you I said what up Albert he said mom i want to be a donor because i want somebody to live if i die I thought to my self that was really sweet. but the thought of my son dieing never crossed my mind. Then he was working hard for a car he alway was ok I never picked up that anything was wrong we talked about everything girls sex and a lot of thing he always was happy joyful caring helpful loving.Everytime he left the house he would give me a big kiss on my forhead and a hug and say mom i love u and dont worry.Now were there sighs i dont understand i always tryed to point him the right way i think i falied as Alberts mom I loved him so much my heart acks for him every day and i dont know what to do any more i cry every day for my son someday are so bad and not as bad but 7 and a half years have gone by im lonely with out him my hearts hasnt beated in a long time. I still dont belive where people go when there i kinda of feel like i dont know where he is i dont know why this happen i dont unerstand why my son its not fear. will thing ever get better will i always feel lose. my other kids told me im going to die of a broken heart who know I have lose alot of my life it just stopped i run from one state to the other i cant stay in one place i feel that i dont want to care about anybody anymore because they will hurt me to losed forever with out my sweet albert

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Mar 24, 2012
with all my love
by: Anonymous

Hi this is Cathy from India, i lost my son about 5 months ago, so i can understand how u feel , my son was also very close to me he was a bit weak in studies and i was all the more attached to him. Even though i have more kids, i miss my son like hell, i dont know how i live just going through one day at a time. my heart was torn away the day he left me and i dont know if it will ever be the same again.Be comforted that your angel is with god and one day we will all be together.

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