how long does sorrow play a part???

by Debbie
(Vacaville, CA)

I ended a relationship 2 months ago with a man I had been with for 3 years. I broke up with him at least 4 previous times. Though there were many good things, our relationship was unmanageable because he could not stay sober. He is also 9 years younger.

I have made a firm decision not to return to the relationship. I have lots of logic and rationalization. But the feelings of sorrow don't seem to care about reasoning. So I am just wondering how long sorrow lasts. I know there is not a black and white answer. It will just pass when it passes. I also don't want to wallow in it any longer than I have to.

I have several opportunities to date other men. But I am not ready for a serious relationship. I feel like I have to deal with the sorrow and to feel like I'm really done with it. I don't want to take on another boyfriend just to cover up the loss. It doesn't work for me anyway.

I guess this is just my way of reaching out and wondering about the path of sorrow and what I can do to respect it but not prolong it.

Though the relationship just cant work under the current conditions, there was a deep bond and closeness between us. So it feels like my heart doesn't understand.