How Many Times?

by Ms. Lita
(Michigan)

As I begin writing this, I cannot help but say that life can be so unfair. My story begins at the mere age of 7, which is when I witnessed a robber kick in my father's apartment door and shoot him multiple times. Those bullet wounds resulted in his untimely death. I was already trying to cope with the fact that my parents were separated, and suddenly I had to try to comprehend why human beings can be so cold and unfeeling toward one another. I was fatherless!!

The next serious episode came when I was 12 years old. You see my uncle had to some degree tried to take the place of my dad, and I enjoyed every moment that we shared. But, as life would have it; he was gunned down in the streets after leaving a bar with his girlfriend. I was uncle-less!!

My mother had also endured the loss of her younger brother and her husband, but for the most part kept it together; and God eventually blessed her with a new husband my step-father. I did not quickly take to him, but after I saw the way that he treated my mom and what an excellent provider he was; we became close. The relationship between my mother I was by far the best friendship I've EVER had. Unfortunately she lost her battle with colon cancer at only 57 years of age. At age 33, I was motherless!!

My grandmother, who outlived both her children, began to develop a stronger bond with me after my mother's passing. I can only speculate that she felt I was all she had left. She developed Alzheimer's disease, and I took her in after she was placed in a nursing home by her ex husband. Sadly because the facility was not the greatest, she went from 135 lbs. to 74 lbs. in just two short months. She also had numerous bed sores which became infected.

When I was granted guardianship, I bought her to my home and did all I could to care for her.I had physicians, nurses, occupational and physical therapists in my home 3-4 times a week. But, she was just too weak to survive the infection, and passed away after being with me for 4 months. I was grandmother-less!!

I could continue to go on about the friends, uncles, cousins and grandparents I've lost. But there are far to many to name. I'm beginning to feel as though I am destined to be alone in this world. Can somebody PLEASE help me make sense of it all?