how much loss can one person take?

by lori

I've been on a downward spiral since 2009. I first lost my dad to cancer. That was followed by the death of 4 pets that same year. The next year, 3 more pets and a special uncle. Two more pets the next. Another plus a special aunt the next. 2013 continued with the sudden loss of my mother in law and just hours ago, my oldest dog just passed. I find myself afraid to remain attached to anyone or anything meaningful in my life since I fear I will inevitably lose them next. How can I move forward without that lingering dread of who's next? And how can I deal with the anger and frustration of thinking why me? I live in fear. Fear of being alone when everyone and everything close to me is leaving me all over again? How much is too much? It seems there will be a breaking point where I wonder why I don't just distance myself from any more pain from loss. And the question it worth it?? Or are we better off being sad, lonely people who in the long run spare ourselves from any more heartbreak?

Comments for how much loss can one person take?

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Dec 14, 2013
Wow, it sounds like me
by: Leesa

I'm so sorry for your losses. I can fully relate. My consecutive losses of pets, family members and close friends started in 2003 and it's still happening as I write this ten years later. I pray for help every day. The only reason I keep going is for my remaining pets.

Sep 23, 2013
how much loss can one person take?
by: Doreen UK

Lori I am so sorry for all the many losses you have had in your life. It is enough to make anyone feel the way you do. If you can. Try and see a grief counsellor as this is appropriate when there has been multiple losses. This support will help you move forward better. At the moment so much loss has left you feeling very vulnerable to losing people and pets from your life. But remember after each pet you lost you got another pet and lost that one and then another. This happened more than once. This shows me how brave you are at not letting loss affect your life to the point that you denied another pet LOVE. You kept on LOVING and LOSING pets from your life. We all have a life span and none of us know when this will be. But as hard as it is we go on loving the ones we have left hoping we won't lose them but also holding them loosely knowing we can lose them one day. Grief causes us to fear the worst and be vulnerable. I felt the same way when I lost my husband to cancer 16 months ago. Out of fear I asked God who He was going to take next. I can't live the rest of my life in FEAR. I have to go on in FAITH that I live well and will not lose anyone else from my life. I will keep on loving and not deny anyone or a pet Love because of my FEAR. I will change my FEAR to FAITH. Even when things fail me I will keep on having FAITH. This is what will help you go on in life. DON'T EVER GIVE UP! "A winner never quits." "A quitter never wins." Decide to be a winner.

Sep 22, 2013
I'm so sorry
by: Linda Keown, Harare, Zimbabwe

Dear Lori,
I am so sorry for all your losses - I have also experienced many losses. On 29.4.1990 I lost my father, then in August of the same year my husband admitted to me that he was having an affair with my best friend - so lost my husband and best friend. In May 2001 I lost a dog. On 19.2.2007 lost my sister, in January 2008 I lost a dog, in May 2008 I lost another dog, then in May 2009 I lost my brother, in July 2009 I lost another dog and in Sept. 2009 I lost another dog. Then on 5.4.2013 I lost my mother, and then on 31.8.2013 I lost my father-in-law.

I feel exactly the same way as you - life just seems to be getting harder. The loss of my mother has been the biggest blow to me and I know I will never ever get over it - I cry nearly every day because I miss her so so much and long to see her again.

Hang in there Lori that all we can do. Also remember they are in a better place and we will meet everyone again the that SPECIAL place.

Love Linda

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