How much strength does it take to endure such sadness and loss?

by Mariellen
(New Hampshire)

Three years ago this January, I lost my 25 year old son in a terrible house fire. He did not survive and I've had to endure the pain and loss by myself. I have a sister in California who has helped me through this pain but I just can't seem to catch a break from loss. At around the same time, I lost my decent paying job to lay-offs, one after another. It took a year to rebuild my house and that was not without problems with builder, contractor, etc. A total nightmare. I barely kept the mortgage payments due to loss of work and sold off everything I could. I lived in the house for about a month and was so distraught over my son that I could not stay there any longer. I moved out and I rent it out. I had another short-term contract job which just ended after four months because the project got put on hold. Again, back to unemployment and worry and fear. I am so tired and just don't want to live like this anymore. To be quite honest with you, I've been in a fog since my son's death and wish at times I was with him. I don't know how much one person can take but I have had my fill and have kept praying close by but I don't see any hope. In fact, my daughter asks me for help and I can't help her financially now. When you keep struggling to get ahead, get a break and then back to square one again, you lose faith and hope each time. I just don't want to fight anymore and I don't think anyone should endure what I have. There really isn't meaning to much anymore...

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Feb 05, 2014
How much strength does it take to endure such sadness and loss?
by: Doreen UK

Mariellen I am so sorry for your loss of your young son to a house fire, and also your loss of job and self esteem for all these on going problems. You are not alone. If we all shared our stories we would all be in the same boat. Often when we lose a loved one we incur many other losses which stretch us beyond our ability to cope. God says he will not give us more than we can bear but will make a way of escape so that we may be able to bear it. CLAIM THIS PROMISE FROM GOD. I have faced many tragedies in life and stretched to more than I could bear and when I look back I can see I came through this as if God was carrying me through it. I am in this boat now. I lost my husband to a long 3yrs. cancer battle and lost him 21 months ago. It is humanly impossible to have so much on one's plate and still cope. It feels as if the world is collapsing around us at such a time. I am dealing now with builders and house repairs and being ripped off. I am now feeling the burden of it all on my own. Give these problems to God and allow Him to send the right people your way to help you. Get some grief counselling. When you lose your job and have no income this is such a deep stressful problem. I have seen God bring my sister through so much it is a miracle. DON'T GIVE UP HOPE.!! Hope is all we have when everything else has gone. God does bring blessings our way. Don't give up Hope on God. He is our Provider. Here in the UK we have an online website called MY BUILDER. WE can post a job and get up to 5 tradesmen with a facility to find more from their register. You get to read the skills and profile of a tradesman before accepting them. You can read their reviews before you make an informed decision. You can ask questions and a professional will offer advice. You must have the same facility in America. Check this out. It will give you the confidence when dealing with work needing to be done. Do a google search on anything you need help with and you will get an answer. By researching out any area you need it will build up your confidence. Don't suffer alone. Help is out there we just need to research this and get people on your side to support you. This is a tough battle we are going through. You are not alone. Blessings will come your way. I got one yesterday.
Strong winds blew out one fence panel 2 months ago leaving a gap. My neighbour walked a mile to buy a new panel for me and walked down the road with his brother carrying this fence panel in the bitterly cold weather and put it in for me. He said he is looking out for me since my husband died. Look out of these blessings that come your way. I will remember my neighbours kindness. When I think of this all my troubles seem to become smaller and warms my heart. LET GOD BE YOUR STRENGTH. I wish you all the best in your grief.

Feb 04, 2014
by: Marge

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son at such a young age. On Feb. 10, 2012, my son, Philip, died. He was 50 and I thought that was young, but your loss is so difficult. At least I had him for 50 years, although it is never enough time. Losing a child is so sad and hard to recover, but you must try. I hope you have some support of friends and try to keep some wonderful memories of him in your thoughts. I am still grieving from my loss. I miss Philip so much. He was a talented classical guitar player and I have his music to listen too, but sometimes that is hard as I cry. Please take care and remember there are many who share your sadness and loss. Marge

Feb 04, 2014
You cannot give up
by: cynthia

It will be 3 years in April since I lost my son. It is a living **ll. There are days I just want to give up, I want to leave this planet because the pain is so devastating. But then I think of my son and how sad he would be if I just threw in the towel. Your son wants you to keep going,to try to enjoy some part of your life. He does not want you to give up.
I have my husband and another son and now a beautiful grand baby, I don't see them as often as I would like to but they help to give me something to live for. Your daughter needs you here. She is grieving too. She would be lost without you.
Keep praying and know that God is watching over you and he is not going to let you down. You are not alone in your journey, there are so many of us walking that same lonely journey. We have to help each other keep going and try to find a reason each day to keep going. Don't look to far ahead, just take one hour at a time. You are not alone.

Feb 04, 2014
dont give up
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for the loss of your son - you already have shown such strength. You have been knocked back but just take one day at a time - keep praying. I too lost my son and thought about giving up at times but I think about the pain I will leave behind for others - the pain the I carry with me every day and that is one of the things that keep me going. Don't give up - 1 months - 6 months from now - a great job can come up - you just don't know. Come here to vent - we understand -

Feb 04, 2014
I share your pain
by: Fabio

Tomorrow will mark the 8 th month of the loss of my only child in a motorcycle incident ,he was like your son a breath of fresh air anytime i saw him going in and out of our house , at 22 he was the youngest pilot for Australian airline he started at 17 years of age he was dedicate to help others now , me and my wife are lost just like you i wish i could help you but we are to far apart as in continents ,no one knows what you,and me what it feels like we too just living day by day and hoping one day we will not wake up and go to were your beautiful son and mine s are keep strong . Xx

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