How sad can it be

I can only start by saying that my beautuful wife was almost allways my heart. I lost her 2 weeks ago today and I feel like the world is over. The overwhelming grief I feel will be in my heart forever. I loved her beyond words we were friends of one heart. I was only whole when we spooned and watched T.V . My heart feels like its bleeding from the inside out. I wish I knew her pain I an d depresssion was tge wsy it was. I should hsve moved the world for her. I cant keep writing because it hurts to bad. Please. I love you shu guy my angel

Comments for How sad can it be

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Sep 10, 2013
How sad
by: Jolynn

I feel so sad for you and understand your wishing to understand her depression. I have had lot's of experience with Depression. It's been in my family a very long time. I suffer from it and so does my middle son. The truth is that no one can really understand the depths of how we suffer. We don't want anyone to. Whether we think so or like it, there is still a stigma associated with mental illness and we ourselves don't want to be "defective" so we don't always tell what's actually going on in our thoughts. Medicine and therapy help but it sneaks back up on us when under any stress. I know you feel as if you died when she did but you did not. You are alive and will somehow find your way thru this. Unfortunately we must have courage to walk thru the pain. the NEXT POST IS FROM ME WHERE I EXPLAIN MY LOSS AND I WILL ADD ONE THING MORE, he was a courageous Marine and he said, " Courage is endurance for one moment more". Sometimes in our sorrow we can only go moment by moment because the pain is so intense. We actually can become physically ill from the stress so it's important that we eat, rest and try so very hard to take care of ourselves even though we've lost the reason to want to.
I am sorry for your terrible loss.

Sep 10, 2013
How sad
by: Jolynn

I am so sorry that you lost your love and I can hear you are in terrible pain. I do understand as I lost my 26yr old son 11 months ago. He was an officer in thee Marines training to fly jets. I was in shcck for the first couple of months but in such pain. I would lie on the bed shuddering and I had night terrors where I would awaken screaming and crying. No one really understood the depth of my sorrow. At this 11 month mark I will say that it is less acutely painful but there are still horribly sad times and I have to ride thru them. My husband will not talk about our son or look aT PICTURES OR SEE HIS FRIENDS OR VISIT HIS GRAVE. I SEE A PRIVATE GRIEF COUNSELOR AND ATTEND A COUPLE OF GROUPS BECAUSE I THINK SPEAKING ABOUT HIM IS HEALING. I ADMIRE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE REACHING OUT ALREADY. THAT, BELEIVE IT OR NOT, IS A GREAT SIGN OF PUSHING THRU YOUR GRIEF AS ISOLATING CAN BE SELF-DESTRUCTING BUT WE SO FEEL LIKE CURLING UP INTO A BALL. iT HELPS TO REACH OUT TO PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN. yOU AND SHE LOVED EACH OTHER, NOW SHES'S GONE, OF COURSE YOU MISS HER. I SLEEP WITH MY SON'S SHIRT, I KEEP A JOURNAL BECUASE JUST THE ACT OF WRITING LESSONS A BIT OF THE STRESS. I WRITE LETTERS TO HIM. sOMETIMES I WRITE LETTERs FROM HIM TO ME THINKING OF Ways he might have wanted to say goodbye. Music is recuperative. Danny Gokey "I Will Not Say Goodbye" lyrics. is a beautiful emotional song. Please listen to it and see if it resonates with any of your feelings. If it does, it's a good way for you to let some sorrow out now and then. Search for other songs that may mean something too.
Try getting some books on grief. Order them on Amazon if you aren't up for shopping. Try to go out with friends even if u don't feel social. Company helps to distract you from the loop of sorrow we feel. Go to movies too. Try a group. Be proactive. You will always miss her but you may be able to make things a little easier on yourself. There are no silver linings to our loss but we do change. I've learned what's important and I'm more sensitive to what motivates people now and am less judgmental. Most people are just trying to make it in this world and it can be rough sometimes. I am so sorry for your loss.
Please take care of yourself.

Sep 09, 2013
So sorry
by: Kristin

I offer my deepest condolesnces on the loss of your wife so recently. I lost my boyfriend almost 2 months ago. The first weeks are definitely the most difficult, and being just a few more weeks out of it, I can honestly say things do start to get a little better- even if you cannot even fathom it. One day at a time is definitely the key here, and breath. When you feel you cannot endure this pain another minute, just stop, sit and breathe deeply in your nose out your mouth. Breath can save your life. One day at a time, one breath at a time. Your wife is always with you, and she will be with you through this difficult time. Take care of yourself, you can get through this.

Sep 09, 2013
I know your pain
by: Lawrence

The world as you knew it is over for you, I can feel your intense pain and the overwhelming heartache you are suffering, you can see no future without your beloved wife.
Believe me I speak from experience. I too have suffered the shattering loss of a deeply adored and cherished wife; we were together for nearly seventy years and the grief is still indescribable even after eight months, BUT the pain is lessening, I don’t cry as I did, there is a natural time limit on grief and although you are in the very early days you have to believe me that the intense pain will diminish as the months pass by.
The wonderful people on this website helped me through using their own personal experiences of losing a beloved partner.
We have all been through it and it hurts badly, it certainly is life changing. I keep repeating time after time “GRIEF IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR LOVE”.
There are no happy endings in life, you are paying the price for the intense love you shared, I’m sure you feel like all of us on this website it was worth it.
Read all our stories and I hope you find solace in them.
Remember you are not alone and 100% of loving couples will have to go through the agony of losing a much loved partner.
Finally don’t believe anyone who says that they know what you are going through because they haven’t a clue and won’t have until it happens to them.
Take great care of yourself and please return to this website and tell us how you are coping.

Sep 09, 2013
How sad can it be
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your wife 2 weeks ago. I lost my husband 16 months ago. You are in the first stages of raw grief. I have always expressed grief as feeling like a slow hemmoraghe. Grief is the worst pain ever. My grief made me feel so very ill.
I was numb to start with and when I thawed out the pain hit me hard. I took to the couch for months and bathed my grief with TV and sleep. I was able to nurture myself by looking after my emotional needs and doing the very minimal of jobs around the house till I was able to get my motivation back. I have accomplished a lot in these 16 months. But had I not nurtured myself slowly back into a routine I would still be lying on the couch. I am healing in small ways, but I still have days when I lose my motivation to do anything and I do take to the couch. I cry almost every Saturday the Day of the week my husband died. Saturdays will never be the same again. They are filled with sad memories of that day he died. I have this desperate urge to see my husband again almost uttering "Where are you?" "You have been gone too long and I MISS YOU!".
You will feel sad and lonely for some time. But know this that TIME is all we have to heal from our grief. Healing is slow and this is hard on us. The secret is TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don't focus on looking too far ahead. Doing one day at a time helped me get to 16 months. I don't know how I made it. But you do go on each day and live some sort of existence. Your life will never be the same again. But it is possible in time to restructure your life. This is the hard part. Finding ourselves after Death. I wish you God's Comfort and strength to cope with Life and your loss of your wife.

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