How Will I Get Through This?
by Polly Hueber
(Charlevoix, MI )
Two weeks ago, on a Saturday morning I talked to mom for a half hour. She was waiting for my 22 year old son, to take her to lunch. Of course he was late, but now that was a gift to me, being able to talk to her for the last time. An hour and a half later, my son called me from the hospital, my mom stood up from lunch, and felt dizzy. She knew it wasn't normal, she asked my son to get her to the hospital. He got her there in ten minutes. As soon as the laid her down in ER she went into a coma. She had a major stroke, her brain was bleeding, making her go into the coma. She died Tues evening at 6:50, November 27th. I stayed with her the whole time, talking to her and singing camp songs to her. I couldn't remember any songs but the ones I learned from camp, when I was 12 yrs. old. I had a birthday yesterday, I now am 52. My mom and I where very close almost talking everyday. Mom was 84, she could do circles around me. Thanksgiving day she served 100 people,at her church, that evening she went to the James Bond movie, and loved it. The next day she went shopping on Black Friday. She never stopped. Such a go getter, full of life, always smiling, and would do anything for you.
She was my rock, my best friend. How do I get through this pain. I wake up every morning, hoping it was just a dream, that she isn't really gone. My 16 year old son lives with me. I am trying to get the house ready for Christmas, I hear mom telling me to keep going, for Ryan my son.
The pain and my broken heart, are unbearable at times. I won't let my self even go there, as soon as I start thinking about the last two weeks, I can change my thoughts. I know its denile. I know its normal, at this point, I do not think I will ever be normal again..........I miss her so much.......