Huey my soulmate

by Shirley

This is to honor my husband Huey, of 41 years. We were practically babies when we met and 5 months later got married. Thru thick and thin we made it. Blessed with two daughters and four grandsons.
How we met was, I was driving home from work, just moved to Arkansas from California with my parents. Anyway was driving home and we lived on a dirt road, in the country. This guy was walking down the road towards our house and it had been raining. I flew by him and splattered him with mud. I later found out his sister lived on the other side of us and that was where he was going at the time. I thought oh well I will never see him again and didn't think much about it. Then one day my Moms car had some mechanical problems and they called someone to come out to the house to look at it. I went outside when the person showed up to work on it and guess who was with them, the guy I splattered with mud. I was like oh no, not him. He came up to me and said if I could have caught you that day I would have killed you...long story short we started dating, he then moved to Texas two weeks later cause he had been transferred from Calif. to Texas with his job. I cried like a baby when he left, and I said to myself you silly girl you don't even know him, you have only known him for two weeks. He called when he got to Texas and said he was coming home on weekends would I like to go we did and it has lasted every since.
When we met it was love at first site, I knew the minute I laid eyes on him it would be forever and he the same. It was so funny when he asked me to marry him, he said will you marry me, I am tired of living alone and I love you. I said I am 19 years old, I am not ready to get married, even as much as I love you. Huey said Well I'm not going to ask you again and then I was thinking oh my God I better marry him before he doesn't ask me again...we had a good laugh about that.
Huey had many medical issues thru the years starting at age 45 with a stroke. Then 2 open heart surgeries within a year and four months of each other. Then six months later stents in his heart. 8 vascular surgeries to boot. We finally thought he was so much better, but in Jan 2012 he was diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer Extensive..I spent every minute I could with him. Working on top of that I went to all his appointments, chemo and radiation. He responded so well to the chemo and radiation that we thought he will beat this too.
He was so positive thru the whole ordeal. He kept me so positive as well. He told his cancer Dr that he did not want to know a prognosis because "No One is Promised Tomorrow". His Dr looked at him and said good, because I am not God. And that his how we lived the rest of his time on earth. One day at a time. When people called or came by he always said I am doing fine. They still comment about that today. I did not know he was going to die when he did on March 12th 2013. He had a not so easy night the night before but woke up at 6am the day he passed and said Good Morning, I said Good Morning. He looked at me took two breaths and was gone. I stared at him because I could not believe he was not breathing..the rest is history..I grieve so much for him...but it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw...those breaths were the most easy ones he had taken in a long time. I just know God was there with him.
I love you Huey and I can't wait till we are together again.

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Jun 20, 2013
Time keeps going on
by: Shirley

Now another over another month has gone by...still going thru a lot of emotions. One day doing pretty good, the next crying non stop, aching to have Huey here. In July my daughters and two of our grandsons are going to my husbands homestate of Arkansas to have a service for him with family and friends we knew from there. He wanted his ashes put on his parents graves there. We are having a church memorial service, one of our very close nephews is a preacher and going to do the service for us. Then we will proceed to the graves of his parents. After that we are going to release the rest of his ashes off of a Mountain there, it is a state park where we often went when we started dating. When I die our daughters are to release my ashes in the same spot. I hate to let him go, I know he is no longer in these ashes but it is a connection to him. I am keeping some of his ashes as have our daughters. Also going to bury a few of them where my Dad and Mom are so we have somewhere here to go decorate on birthdays, anniversaries ect. I still am in the disbelief stage. I still wake up hoping this is a nightmare that I will wake up from. It is so strange how people pull away from you after a while. It is like they say, people want you to get over it. Don't want to talk about it, say oh you are doing so good. No I am not, family who use to call all the time call no more. It is sad that friends step up more than some family do. I am so thankful for this website because it does help to hear others stories, and to be able to express your feelings. I do have plans after we go to Arkansas. I want to go to Florida and spend a week with our oldest daughter. Two friends that I have known since 7th grade and I have been talking about a cruise. Even thinking of going to learn Zumba, a good friend is an instructor. When people ask me how I am doing, I say I am existing. I wouldn't call it living anymore. It's going thru the motions of everyday. Work, yard work, house cleaning, grocery buying, paying bills all that we have to still do. Do I like it, no. Never will. We will see how I am in another month...I love you and miss you so much Huey...I know you couldn't stay...I know you wanted to...and tried so hard to...I pray you are at peace...

Jun 07, 2013
Thank you
by: Shirley

I thank you so much. Reading the other stories on here make me feel like I am not alone in the way I feel. Sometimes you think you are going crazy, other times I just can't grasp it that he is gone, and even more times I pretend he is gone somewhere as some of you do. I did that with my Dad and Mom as well. Seems to help me thinking they are just vacationing somewhere or as with my husband he has drove a semi and worked a job where he was away during the week and then come home. But it sinks in now that it has been almost 3 months since he passed away, that he is not coming home and that breaks my heart. I guess you can only pretend so long huh?
Yes, we loved each other from day one. We only knew each 5 months and got married. Wasn't always easy and nothing worth while is. As we looked back over the years and how we stuck it out thru thick and thin...Huey used to say people don't fall in love anymore they fall in heat and when the heat is gone their true for so many. Like us it was meant to be a forever thing and those that are blessed with that have something very special. I believe it is a gift from God. It was fate that we met and by faith we made it...thanks again I love all the thoughts people write on here.

Jun 06, 2013
What a Beautiful Couple You Were!
by: Debra (Illinois)

There is no doubt you two were in love. What a lovely picture. My husband and I met in March and were married by November. We've been together almost 29 years now. He is my soulmate too. Your story was heart wrenching. I pray you have found some peace in knowing you will be together again. I know what you mean when you said his final breaths were beautiful. My father died peacefully, surrounded by me, my mom and siblings. It was exactly how we had wanted him to pass. The love you two shared will never diminish and I pray you experience life's little joys as you go through this sorrowful journey.

Jun 03, 2013
Huey my soulmate
by: Doreen U.K.

Shirley I am so sorry for your loss of your soulmate Huey. It is so sad to think that Huey conquered all his heart problems and the doctors worked on him to get him to a stable condition he then contracts the lung cancer. This is such horrendous bad news to conquer a mountain and then die on the ground.
My husband only had 2 illnesses in his life. He worked for over 42yrs. then contracted ENCEPHALITIS. in 2005. He nearly died of this. A serious brain condition. Then in March 28th 2009 he was diagnosed with a rare and serious form of lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. His cancer was incurable, inoperable, and aggressive. An Industrial disease. I nursed him for 3yrs.39days. He was a carpenter. He had a horrendous cancer journey. Chemo, Radiotherapy, and then the waiting. We didn't want to know how much time he had left. We left this up to God and any Healing miracles. I therefore did not say good-bye to him. It was not in my mind that I would lose him. I exercised my Faith for a miracle healing. My beloved husband Steve lost his battle on May 5th 2012. A widow now for 13 months. I sat by his bedside waiting for him to suddenly get up and instead I saw him draw his last breath. I went into shock, denial, and numbness. Days I can't believe he has gone forever. It is as if I am waiting for him to come back from a job overseas and it is taking longer than usual. This journey is forever now and very difficult.
I like the way you told your story. You seem to have a mature subdued quiet acceptance of your loss, in much the same way as me. I am wondering when the shock is going to come and I fall to pieces. OR IS THIS IT? I miss Steve more today as if I am thawing out and can't quite get my head around what has happened. I am struggling to remember our 44yrs. of marriage. Even though he worked 6 days a week sometimes 7. for over 47yrs. WE didn't get the quality time together. This was to come with retirement. I am now doing this alone. I guess you must have similar feelings once the dust has settled and you have laid your beloved to rest.
I hope you have supportive family and friends to walk with you through this journey of grief till you can find your way back into this new life you now have to rebuild.

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