by Jodie

I got 14 wonderful years with my grandpa. He was always the one who watched me because my parents were always working. I loved him so much. He always had the funniest stories. We used to bird watch all the time. When I was 14 he moved in with my aunt to help her with her kids, and then they moved away. My grandpa had a leg amputated, and my aunt treated him horrible. He was left alone for long periods of time. Last time I saw him, I washed his hair and cut it, and he cried A lot. Then they moved even further away. I was so angry with all of them. Even my grandpa. He left me. I never called, I never wrote. My mom would talk to him, and he would always ask how I was and then start crying. I found out he was sick a week before he passed away. When I got the news of his passing I handled it fine. But at night in secret I cried my heart out. I thought my heart was going to give out. I feel so ashamed, and I miss him so so much. I haven't cried again till tonight. I try to forget, but that just feels wrong, but if I think about it I feel so terrible. I'm so angry at my aunt for taking him away, and treating him horribly. If I could see him one more time I would hug him and just ask for his forgiveness, though I know I don't deserve it. I miss you grandpa, and I'm so so sorry

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Jan 28, 2014
by: Doreen UK

Jodie I am sorry for your loss of your grandfather. You are probably experiencing anger at your parents working and you being on your own a lot and seeking comfort and a good relationship with your grandfather. You depended on him for your comfort when your parents were not at home, so you may be feeling some abandonment issues when your grandfather left, and your aunt for taking him away leaving you so broken and hurt. You may even be feeling guilty because you didn't keep in touch with your grandpa when he left with your aunt and he died and not here anymore to comfort you and just be in your life. this is normal how you are feeling. It is grief but more painful due to your circumstances that makes it feel worse.
Best thing to do is talk to your parents and let them know what is going on with you and how hurt you feel. If you don't do this you will be putting distance between you and your parents. You will feel better when you get your feelings out into the open. It is not good to bottle up all your hurt feelings. You will only feel worse for years. I don't condone your aunt being horrible to your grandfather. There may be deeper issues going on that only Adults can understand. This is your aunt's anger and if you asked her why she was cruel to your grandfather she would explain this to you. Tell her honestly how you interpreted her treatment and ask her if it was really like this because you don't want to grow up hating anyone. Often children interpret things in the Adult world that can be cruel, but can often come out of frustration. As adults we often pay a price for what our children observe in our behaviour when they are growing up. I loved my Older daughter, but when I loved other people she felt excluded. I didn't find out about this for a long time after. It did dent our relationship. Which is why it is good to talk things out and not just imagine what is going on. I hope things get better for you in time. Take one day at a time and your grief will get easier till healing takes place.

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