Husband and Best Friend

by Carolyn
(Puyallup, Washington)

We were married for almost 36 years. Bruce was a gentleman. Always thought of me first. When we met, we knew that we were going to me married. Met in March and married in October. He was a disabled but I didn't see it. I saw the warm loving man that he was. He was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy, Charcot Marie Tooth. It is a slow progressive disease. He progressed from a cane to crutches to wheelchair to no legs and an electric chair. I worked full time and was his care-giver too. We had little or no help. Any help came out of our own pockets which was a struggle, but we managed. His medicine was narcotics, which changed my husband to a different man I didn't know.

He died in July 2009 and I still cry almost every night. I feel guilty for living and wish God to take me. Talking about it does not help me. It brings all the horror of the hospitals, the pain he was in, and I go into a deep depression. Everyone says time will heal. I'd like to punch them in the nose. So far..... reading the bible before going to bed seems to calm me enough to be able to go to sleep.