Husband and Best Friend

by Carolyn
(Puyallup, Washington)

We were married for almost 36 years. Bruce was a gentleman. Always thought of me first. When we met, we knew that we were going to me married. Met in March and married in October. He was a disabled but I didn't see it. I saw the warm loving man that he was. He was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy, Charcot Marie Tooth. It is a slow progressive disease. He progressed from a cane to crutches to wheelchair to no legs and an electric chair. I worked full time and was his care-giver too. We had little or no help. Any help came out of our own pockets which was a struggle, but we managed. His medicine was narcotics, which changed my husband to a different man I didn't know.

He died in July 2009 and I still cry almost every night. I feel guilty for living and wish God to take me. Talking about it does not help me. It brings all the horror of the hospitals, the pain he was in, and I go into a deep depression. Everyone says time will heal. I'd like to punch them in the nose. So far..... reading the bible before going to bed seems to calm me enough to be able to go to sleep.

Comments for Husband and Best Friend

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Apr 19, 2010
best friend
by: Rose

I also know what you're going through. My husband died on Oct. 20, 2009, literally at my feet. He said he was going to pass out, and down he went. He was only 63, two weeks shy of his 64th birthday. He was truly my best friend. We went everywhere together. Enjoyed the same interests. We would have celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary this past Saturday. Although I went to bereavement sessions, I still can't get over his death. People think I am coping, but they don't see my tears nearly every day. I try to stay busy with my jobs, but the loneliness is always there. I don't know what the answer is. I just pray that he is not in any more pain from diabetes and heart problems, that he is happy, and looking over me.

Apr 18, 2010
Bless You
by: Sandy

Hello,

I read your story and couldn't help but to comment. I can so relate to the anger that you are feeling. I hate when people tell me that time will heal. I am so tired of being told that. My husband died a year ago and there are so many layers of pain, confusion, longing, anger, the list goes on and on. I have frankly tried everything. I don't have any answers. I have also had the feelings that I want to die so that I can be with him. I miss him more than I can say and there are no words to express the pain that I feel. The only thing that gives me any peace is knowing that I am not alone, so many people suffer with this grief and I will see him again some day. Please know that you are not alone though I know how you feel about not having a support system. I come on here every day and read and comment when I can relate at all. Just knowing I am not the only one seems to help. May God be with you.....

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