Husband, Best Friend, Soul Mate, Father of My Children, Business Partner
by Carmen Mroz
(Abbotsford, BC, Canada)
Celebrating our 21st Anniversary in Central Park, New York
Wow,the loss of 5 people all rolled into one man - The Love of My Life.
Andy just turned 51 and died suddenly in the early hrs of May 23, 2012 as the coroner put it, "Sudden Cardiac Dysrhythmia due to Severe Atherosclerotic Coronary Artery Disease".
No warning sign, never saw it coming, no complaints, nothing. Like a Tornado. Just as quickly as it started it was over before I knew it.
We had an enjoyable evening out with our son, came home had a few laughs with the kids and kissed each other good night for what was to be the last time.
I was with him when it happened - around 2:30 in the morning he just shot up from his pillow and couldn't breathe, his stomach filled with air/gas and it was so swollen I was shocked by what I was seeing and didn't understand what was going on. He let out a deep breath and just laid there staring into nothingness. I was already on the phone with 911 and they told me to do CPR until the ambulance arrived, which seemed like it took forever. They grabbed Andy and put him on the floor in our room and started working on him. A paramedic stayed with me in the kitchen as more crew arrived - the house was full of people. Two of our children, we have 3, sleep downstairs (22 and 18) were scared by all the commotion and thought something horrible was happening upstairs and they called 911 as well. So we had police, fire department, the whole nine yards at our house.
The paramedics came out and told us that there was a faint pulse and that they were taking Andy to the hospital and we were to follow in another ambulance. Upon arrival they immediately brought me into "the room" and told me there was no hope to save him. I could not, would not accept this and told them to get back in there and keep trying and do everything in their power to save him. They tried for 2 hrs to no avail.
Andy had actually passed away at home. The paramedics simply told us their was a faint pulse so that we would go to the hospital with them.
So, in the span of 2.5 hrs everything that we had build together during the past 25 years was gone, burnt out like a candle. With of course the exception of our 3 wonderful children.
It wasn't suppose to happen like this, the kids were getting older, we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and preparing to take more time off from our business to do some traveling, riding his Harley and to just spent time together, we really enjoyed each others company. In other words, it was our turn.
Instead, I'm left with a business (24/7) that I have to run myself, thank goodness we have some very good people working for us and they are helping me. I have the kids that I am very concerned about. All of our family on both sides live 3000 miles away and because we have been raising our family and building a business for the last 25 years it left very little time to meet people. I don't have a lot of friends here but the kids do. This is their home.
I find myself in the same position as them. They are moving forward with their lives and looking at bright futures and I, at the age of 52 have to start over. Something I never thought I would have to do.
We had a GREAT marriage, we seldom fought, we got along very well for two people who since they met in 1987 have worked side by side ever since.
There are times when I just want to scream at him for leaving me alone and then after I do I realize - it wasn't his fault, or mine or anyone's - it's just a horrible tragedy that has happened to our family.
Andy's father passed away at 62 heart related, his younger brother suffered a massive heart attack at 43 50% damage to his heart and he worries me and now my son. The last of the family line he's the only boy - no uncles survived the war. I fear for him.
For Andy I mourn all the things he was looking forward to, being the 1st grandfather on his side of the family, giving the girls away at their weddings. Watching his children flourish. Growing old with me.
For my children I mourn the same things and also that they have lost such a wonderful father and role model -- I have often told them how lucky they are to have a father like Andy, as my own Dad was not so kind. I remind them that he may not have been in their lives for a long time but it was all quality time that they will never forget. And that he loved them so.
For myself I mourn all the above and more. I mourn for the life that was stolen from us too quickly. I'm scared to go thru this journey yet fully understand that I must. Trust me, there are times that I just want to get on the next plane and go somewhere far away and not deal with any of this. Then i get a reality check and realize that it will still be here when I get back and will be even harder to deal with.
We are seeking help to get us thru this as I want the healing process to be a healthy one for the kids and I. I want to honor Andy and the life we built and shared. I want to be able to move forward with my life as well as I do not believe that Andy would want me sitting around grieving for him for the rest of my life.
He would want me to carry on and for him and the children and myself I will. I miss him terribly and always will.
I love you sweetheart. xoxoxoxo