Husband

by Ron
(Coatesville Pa)

June 5th 2011 was 9 months since the love of my life, precious helpmeet, best friend, and wife of 42 years died totally unexpectedly. 2010 has been a tough year because of a disease called Diverticulitis that I had been suffering with and finally ended up with major surgery...We got thru that well and my recovery went good too. I just got back to work when my Mother-in-law who lived with us went in for a knee replacement which went well, but while in a rehab center she suffered a mild heart attack (she is 83 years old), so off to the hospital where she ended up having 5 artery bypass which went well, but she went down hill, and was put in intensive care. She continued to decline and we (my wife, her twin sister and others) basically camped out at the hospital. It was Sunday 9-5-2010 (I Pastor a small country church) and after morning service I headed over to the hospital where my wife and her sister had gone already....I remember it was about 3 in the afternoon and we had decided to take a break to get something to eat, so my wife and I headed to town, picked something up and brought it back to the hospital. We ate outside in a very nice patio area...it was a beautiful sunny day...we truly enjoyed the time. We have a special needs daughter so I told my wife I needed to leave about 3:30PM, go home to freshen up and my daughter and I would go to evening services, I kissed her good by not realizing that would be the last time I would see her alive...afterwards I would call and if she was still at the hospital I would head over to be with her and sister. Our church sits down in a valley where there is no cell phone reception so as I left and headed up the hill where i receive signal my phone started buzzing meaning I have messages...I pulled over into a bank parking lot to listen to the first message which was from my wifes twin sister Sue telling me that my wife Pearl had suffered either a stroke or heart attack...she was in the ER where they were working on her and she had not been able to see her up to that time. Sue said that after I left they went back up to see their Mother and were told she wasn't going to make it much longer...certain functions were beginning to shut down and they should call other family members. Pearl and Sue went down to our van where they made phone call to a brother and another sister who was already traveling in from Kentucky...Pearl was on the phone with her sister and said to Linda, "hold on I'll let speak with Sue", and she handed the phone to Sue...As Sue took the phone she immediately noticed Pearl grabbing her right side of her body in pain...Sue cried out Pearl! do you need help and at that point Pearl fell over and we now know that was it. As it turned out a nurse had been walking by and Sue yelled to him...he started CPR...other nurses came and within minutes she was in the ER...I arrived around 9PM and no one had been allowed to see her as of yet...After about 30 minutes they came out and told us she was on life support, very critical, but I could see her and told me to talk to her even if she doesn't respond she may hear...as soon as I saw her I knew there was little hope. I am a Viet Nam Vet and have seen my share of people on life support, but I was praying for a miracle...while standing there attempting to console her she went into cardiac arrest...they said I could stay or leave, but when I saw the Doctor literally get on top of her to do the compressions I had to leave...He came out and said we will now move into a cardio intervention stage which meant they would take her upstairs to perform a catherization to see what is happening...they found she had a ruptured aneurysm of the aorta which meant all the work they did only pumped more blood into her body so she bled to death internally because they did not know what happened until later (no fault of their own) in fact I was very pleased with the way they handled things. The Doctor came in around Midnight and told us they did everything they could, but she had passed. We were able to go see her body...I remember holding her now cold hand asking what am I going to do now? How am I going to take care of our special needs daughter alone? By the way, the Mother-in-law turned around and made it, and came back home to live with us. There is more I need to share (the story does not end there) everything is not well...I in fact had one of the worst days today since this happened and would like to share other complications I am encountering, but this will give a general idea of my story...thank you for letting me share it with you. Ron

Comments for Husband

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Jun 21, 2011
Wife....
by: TrishJ

I lost my husband to heart disease after a long and gallant battle. He was waiting for a heart transplant when God called him home.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope that life is good to you as you go through your grieving. Please come to this web site and voice your feelings. It is a long and difficult struggle. Know that there are many of us here suffering as you are. Many people will be helpful and supportive. This web site has saved my life.
Blessings to you.

Jun 18, 2011
Husband
by: Hope

Ron,

I am so very sorry for your loss. Please come here often to let out all the sorrow that you feel. There is no shame is feeling even as a man. The people here are the life raft letting you know that you are not alone. You have alot to deal with now. Please find a support group and if nothing else listen to others stories. It helps to know that all the emotions that you feel are "Normal" and grief is a long road that we all must travel towards recovery.
HH

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