Husbands 2.5 year affair
I found out in august 2013 my husband had been seeing someone from his work place, I found an email in his suit pocket of a meeting they had arranged at her new flat, he told me it was only friendship at the beginning then it developed into something more serious, he said nothing happened and he left her flat after 30 minutes due to guilt,
we decided to go to relate. The service relate provided was a great help but I kept looking for further evidence and eventually he admitted he had been having an affair for 2.5 years but it only happened in working hours that's why I never suspected, he never went out on his own or was ever home late our life was perfect, so I thought.
he took 2 afternoons off to try and have sex but couldn't Physically carry it out, due to having his prostrate removed 5 years previously, but other sexual relations took place. The rest of the meetings were made up of coffees at lunch times or 15 minutes after work in a car park for gropes etc.
I also checked his mobile phone account and noticed there were a lot of phone calls and text messages to a particular number from April to August 2013 it turns out he had another woman on the go during this time as well as his mistress but in this affair he had only met her twice in a car park where they kissed this affair was just sex texts. Both affairs ended the day I found the email.
He says he has always loved me, there was no way he was ever going to leave me for these woman or let his behaviour get involved with our married life, he says he rationalised it all by separation his two life's, he says it was the buzz he was addicted to, the thought of two woman wanting him, he says he just used them for the buzz and his life has always been with me. He said we hadn't been intimate for years and that was his fault he had pushed me away because he couldn't fulfill his marital duties towards me and felt guilty and despaired every time he let me down in bed so in the end he didn't even try, but with this woman he didn't care if it worked or not he didn't love her and didn't care what she thought.
He is now on Prozac and under psychotherapy as the realisation of what he has done has nearly made him have a breakdown I am now getting counselling for my shock, anger and heartache.
I really loved my husband but I hate the man he has become, he says he will change and become the man i married 15 years ago, he can't live without me and he feels he was suffering from depression due to having prostrate cancer 5 years previous and their attention made him feel like a man again,
I just can't see the logic in that and feel it's an excuse, people choose to have an affair and go down that path no one forces them. I want all the bad thoughts of what they have done together to go away I live with it day and night it's been 4 months and I'm still having violent angry outbursts, he has pleaded with me to stay with him till august 2014 so he can prove he can change and show how much he loves me but it's hard, all I want to do is run and hide from the world, they say time is a healer but how much time?