I am so lost and alone.

by heartbroken
(I don't know anymore)

My husband died Oct 2010. Life will never be the same for me. I feel like I am getting more and more removed from others and life. I am not happy and I don't know how to regain any happiness. I don't know many people and the few family members I have live far away and have their own families. How am I suppose to go on when the man I spent my entire life with is not here? He made me feel secure and safe and now I am on my own. I am scared and I am so lost without him. Nothing looks or feels the same without him.

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Jan 21, 2012
Thank you
by: heartbroken

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I am sorry all of you are going through this too. Reading all of your posts makes me feel that I will be ok. I don't know when, but you all give me hope that with time I will be able to cope better. Thank you all so much!

Jan 20, 2012
Hold on
by: Anonymous

At some point, your grief will partially morph to pride and, despite your loss, you will feel good about your successful marriage.

And, that is something that will never leave you. You deserve congratulations in addition to condolences.

Jan 20, 2012
lost and alone.
by: Anonymous

I am a 56 year old woman, that lost my husband the end of July, 2011. I lost my dad the at the same time. I was with my dad when he passed, but my husband was in a different state. I didn't know my husband was gone till a week later. Like you, he was the love of my life and we worked, lived and loved the same things for 30 years. I trusted him to be there for me and I would always be there for him. He was suppose to be taking care of business and doing the one sport we loved. That is why I didn't think of not hearing or talking to him was a big deal. I will and always wish that i could change a moment with him. the last time we talked, the last email, the last kiss. Like you, my family lives far away, but I have my life and my home that we shared together. That is what keeps me going. We were self employed and only had the business that we shared. When he passed, I lost everything.
I will tell you that I cry myself to sleep alot.
there are days that I just don't want to get out of bed. There are times that the depression that I feel will just take over.
My family loved and lost the same man that I grieve for everyday. but they will never feel the same loss that I feel.
The only thing that keeps me going, is the strength that man put in me.
I miss him everday and everynight. But I know he is with me, in my heart, at all times.
I know that the love we shared will be just between me and him. But I know that he is always by my side and he is helping me to go on.

Jan 19, 2012
dear heartbroken
by: Anonymous

I feel as you do, I lost my husband of 35 years on Nov. 18, 2011...he was my best friend and we laughed together all the time....there is no joy left and I truly wish I could do something to end the pain..I feel no one really understands the pain, the fear and the loneliness...life is not worth while anymore...I will say a prayer for you..please take care of yourself

Jan 19, 2012
lost and alone
by: Pat J.

Dear heartbroken,
I"ve had to learn to live for myself, after almost 50 years. I started dating my future husband at the age of 15; married him at 18, and now after 46 years of marriage on June 26th, my husband died of a maasive heart attack at 12:10 a.m., on the 27th of June.
This is a journey I never imagined. It is not any easy journey, but I do alot of praying and I talk to my husband all the time. I don't think this ache in my heart will ever go away. Soon it will be 7 months without him, but it feels like just yesterday and then again it feels so much longer.
I joined a grief support group through our church and have formed a friendship with three other widows. We didn't know each other before our husbands' death. It is amazing how we get the support we need from complete strangers. We no longer are strangers and feel all our husbands are watching over us. They are probably bonding like we are on earth, in heaven.
My adult children, think I am so strong and doing so well. I tell myself, I am faking it until I can make it. I know we will all make it, but we will always feel like a part of us went with our spouse. We all wait for the day, our God calls us home to be with them in eternity.
We are strong, we are surviving grief, we are learning to make a new life for ourselves. Our life is forever changed. Cherish our memories, no one or anything can take them away.

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