I asked for it

by Canny

I never really knew my father, i guess in a way i kinda hated him. I have maybe two memories of him well only good memories the others are not as good. I've never actually gave him a hug with out grinning my teeth but when he left its like the light of my life left with him. Everyday i look for him still its been about two years and half since he was buried. Sometimes i wanna unbury him and see if its him in that casket or someone else maybe its a big joke to get me to talk cause i never say how i feel. No one knows me here no one knows my name that's why i'm talking now. He used to tell me i have business in Austin the capital of Texas that prick had nothing in Austin he was a drug addict wanting to be the drug dealer. Everyone tells me im very unhealthy right now and that i need help i love him as much as i hate him. I should have taken him to rehab or something. Everyone in his family told him that only i could make him quit but what they don't understand is i had a problem as well. I would get into fights in school smoke pot make bombs i mean i get into heavy things but never the drugs well the hard drugs. I was depressed with no one to talk to maybe i was the key and he was the lock. Apparently we needed each other but what good is a key without its lock. I have more than enough pounds on my chest to where i can't breathe. 21 years of my life and not once have i opened up no one knows how i really feel. I have a good mask on my face.Sometimes i feel like a week individual for feeling this way.

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