I cannot make sense of what is happening

by Terry
(El Paso)

I have already posted a blog about my mom's death. What I am feeling does not make sense to me. I feel as if I am losing my mind. I am getting snapshots of my mother. They are pictures of her both when she was well and when she was very ill. I know in my mind that she is gone but my heart cannot accept it. What is wrong with me? My mother passed away on January 6th of this year and I feel as if it were yesterday. Does this ever get better?

From Jennie:
Hi Terry, my condolences on the loss of your mother. You are in very early bereavement, and what you are experiencing is fairly normal. It takes a LONG time for things to get better, months to years.

Please read these pages, it might help you understand what is normal and what are warning signs that you might really need some help:


Best of luck to you on your grief journey.

Comments for I cannot make sense of what is happening

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Mar 17, 2010
Grieving Takes Time
by: Down Under

Terry, my condolences on your mothers' passing. You will go thru so many emotions and they are all normal (you may not think so but they are). Maybe speaking to a counsellor or pyschologist may help, they go thru this more times than our friends do and they actually can help you in the right direction, not just respond by saying you'll be okay or move on etc.

My father passed in Aug 2009 and still to this day I walk by his room and look in thinking he'll be laying on his bed having an afternoon nap. Someday it will sink in Terry, but until then speak what you are feeling, do not hide your feelings away, as this will only make the grieving process longer.

You will have up days and down days, days where you want to hide away from the rest of the word and cry your eyes out, days when you tell everyone to leave you alone, you'll have angry days where you want to tell everyone off and lose your temper, days where you think living is not worth it anymore, then one day in between all that you will laugh again and feel that it is not wrong, as the beautiful memories of your mother lives on in your heart and soul.

Treasure the good times Terry, and one day you will meet again when the time is right. She is up above watching down on you. Make her proud.

Mar 16, 2010
For Terry
by: Mariana

Hi Terry. Bless your heart. What you are feeling about your mom is much what I feel some of the time about my husband.

It is an awful shock losing your mom even if you expected it. A mom is a precious person and we only get one so your feelings are completely understandable. I feel that in time you will heal and think about the good times you and your mom had together.

What has helped me is thanking God for the years my husband and I had together. I come home from work every day to an empty house and see his picture and the strong feeling of missing him comes over me. And at times I say to myself, "He cannot possibly be gone. How will I live the rest of my life without him?"

Terry, I know the loss of your mom is really difficult but I think what is happening is simply grief which is normal at this time. In time you will heal. I hope you have some nice friends to comfort you and give you support. Also praying helps ever so much. Talking to a pastor helps you deal with grief easier and helps you deal with a situation that has got to be one of the hardest to go through. I often say, "Lord, my husband is safe with you now, without pain. Thank you Lord for giving me such a wonderful person. Please help me to deal with this."

My prayers are with you. Please talk to someone and know that people do care and understand.

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