i can't accept the fact that my daddy's gone !!

by Nina

I'm 19 years old girl and here's my story
a phone call telling me that your father is in the hospital you gotta run it was a car accident ..and i thought it's okay he is fine he'd be fine he'd survive this it's just a car accident he's going to be okay
i went to the hospital with my mom I've seen him screaming in pain but they kept telling me he's going to be okay and that what I've been telling myself since then they asked me to go home i was like why ..why no ..no i won't leave him ..what happened please tell me ...no no he can't be gone no you said he'd be okay why ..!! they told me he was going to be okay why you lied to me ..
the next time I've seen him and it was the last time, i kissed him on his cheek which was cold as ice
and since that day it's so cold i don't feel warm ..i don't feel safe ..daddy,I'm afraid
how it's even possible that you can lose someone in a blink of an eye is that too much to get the chance to say goodbye
how can i even tolerate the fact that you ain't here anymore that when i wake up in the morning i won't see you and you won't pick me up to school ...i can't stop waiting for you to come home and kiss me on my cheeks
daddy,i cry so much and you are not here to tell me it's going to be okay
daddy,i need you i want you to see my graduation and i want you to be with me in my wedding and there were so many things we were supposed to live together right now they don't make sense,dad they don't ..including breathing
I'd do anything just too see ya again i keep dreaming of you every single night i dream you come back and that we are happy again and sometimes i wake up and I've to force myself in every possible way to accept the fact that it was just a dream and that the truth is my dad is gone and he's not coming back
they don't even give me the chance to heal I've to go to college everyday pretend that I'm over it and that I'm fine but I'm not fine i miss daddy it's not getting easier it's getting worse everyday i realize that he's really gone and he's not coming back
no one gets what's I'm going through and i don't blame them quite honestly i know it's hard to put yourself in someone's else shoes
it's been 3 months but i still remember it like it was yesterday and in the same time it feels like it's been years since the day he's gone
will i ever heal !!
i still can't get it where is my daddy !!?

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Mar 20, 2013
I can't accept the fact that my daddy's gone!!!
by: Doreen U.K.

Nina I am sorry for your loss of your father to a sudden death. You did the correct thing to come here to this site because we GET IT. We know how you feel and what you are going through. Grief from the loss of a loved one will be by far the most difficult and worst experience of your life. Nothing else in life can come so close to hurting you like the loss of your father. You are still so very young to go through such a major difficulty in your young life. You are at college and it will be difficult to study knowing your father is not with you to celebrate in your future success's. It is a frightening place to be to know your father is not coming back. Your routine has exploded and will never be the same again. It is like being on a different planet when something like this happens to you. You can only get through this grief one day at a time. this is what I miss from my loss. Not seeing my husband anymore. Him not seeing his grandchildren, or sit in his home he built and enjoying some down time he worked hard for. Life has no guarantees. We forge out a life for ourselves and then that life is cut short and the ones we leave behind are the ones who are fractured forever. We will recover in time but we will never be the same again. Our lives have been changed forever. If you find yourself struggling then go and get some grief counselling and you will move forward better.

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