I can't believe you are gone Daddy.

by Kristina

My father had an outpatient procedure to be done on a Tuesday. I went to work as usual as an ICU nurse that morning, thinking he would be fine and I would see him later. The next 4 days I spent next to his side as he was now a patient in ICU until he died on that Saturday. It has been a little over a week now since he died and I am starting to realize it wasnt a bad dream, he wasn't my patient, he was MY daddy. I have been talking everyone thru this unexpected loss, now I wish I could talk myself through it as well. I miss you daddy!

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Dec 12, 2012
I can't believe you are gone Daddy
by: Doreen U.K.

Kristina I am sorry for your loss of your daddy. How difficult it must be for you in a professional capacity to attend to the needs of others and support them and when you are faced with the same dilemma you suddenly find yourself unable to encourage and support yourself through this ordeal. It is often the way. professionals have needs also and often we feel doctors have all the answers and the pastors are supposed to be there for us. And who do the professionals go to when they lose someone in life. Who carries their load? Who supports them. Even counsellors have needs and go through the same problems as everyone else but they have boundaries as all professionals do so they have to wear that hat that says " I am here for you " "How can I help you." whilst crying inside about their own needs that are not met. Counsellors have to have counselling and supervision otherwise they would not be able to do their job. Boundaries are so necessary. It is what protects us where we are at. Kristina you would need to speak to either a counsellor to have your needs supported, or speak to a close friend or relative who would give you the space to cry on their shoulder and be supported in your loss. It must have been an awful experience to go on duty knowing your father was in ICU and you would visit him and HE WOULD DIE and you would feel so very helpless. This was the man who gave you life. The man who you called Daddy. The man who nurtured you and brought you up. The man who looked after all your needs and tried to meet them. How does one cope with this? when emotionally connected. I just don't know how you would process this pain and sorrow. I understand where you are coming from and how you feel. I hope that you will go as a professional and make sure that you are supported in your sorrow and your needs met. That you are in a happier place in the days ahead.

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