I can't cope any more
6 years ago I fell and sustained a double fracture to my femur and was told I might never walk again. I did walk. But while I was in rehab - for 10 months, the college I was teaching at was sold. Even though I went back to teaching, in a wheelchair, six months after the fall, my boss "forgot" I was there and I did not get the package the other instructors did. In fact, I had to retain a lawyer to get anything. My new management team told me: "As far as we're concerned, you don't exist" and these were the people that saw my attendance slips and signed my cheques! My lawyer did get me something: about 1/3 of what I should have got. But no more teaching. And that had been my passion and pride for over 20 years.
Next a very nasty, very ex supplier, whom I had paid off in full two years earlier, tried to blackmail me into paying more. When I said "No", he crashed my website (I'm a writer) and destroyed all the samples of my work I had built up over the years. So there went my business. It took three years to restore even part of that.
I got seriously depressed - no wonder! Had treatment and, after that was done - my closest friend, someone I'd known for over 30 years, walked out on me, because "no-one (she) knew had depression."
Fast-forward three years: last year my husband of 30 years had a catastrophic stroke and has been living in a long-term care home ever since. I posted about this here last year. This was the most devastating blow of all.He was, and still is, the love of my life. But he's not really my husband any more. Brain damaged. Aphasic. Completely paralyzed down his right side. He can never come home again. So I'm living in the apartment we used to share, along with the ghosts of a good life past. I have no family, he's it. His two daughters rarely go to see him, they buy him things instead. As for me, I'm the second wife, so I'm utterly abandoned. We don't get together as a family any more, haven't since last Christmas and I really don't want to see them. Too hurt.
I sued the clinic where I had the fall and, six years later, was awarded a TINY settlement. My lawyer took the case on contingency and told me he'd charge me 30% But, once the case was settled, he ended up with 59%, part of which was going to the health service. This had never been mentioned to me, neither had the fact that I also had to shell out for his "disbursements " which have never been itemized. And I still haven't seen any money two months later.
After my husband's stroke, I discovered that he'd maxed out about 15 different credit cards, so I've had that to deal with too.
The grand total: Husband - gone. Teaching career - gone. Business - gone. Savings - gone. Pensions - gone - to pay off his debts. And I'm still getting calls from the banks.
Family - non-existent. Friends - some - but they have their own lives. Apartment - subsidized, but I don't know for how long.
Life - simply not worth living. Why bother going on?.