I didn't lose a child; I lost my parents and need love

by Jamie
(Germany)

Me and my baby

Me and my baby

I know this is probably the most bizarre, unexpected post one could make on a site like this... but, I am in an unstoppable search to find parents who will love me for who I am.

The story of how I ended up without parents is a long one. I couldn't and wouldn't want to put it on the internet for the world to see. I think the most important things to know are that my parents are still living and breathing and well; but because have become a single mother to what they call their 'bastard grandchild', they see me as a disappointment and disgrace. Even though they are "Christian" I think they have taken it to the extreme and have forgotten the 'love' part of Christianity. It only makes me sad for them and the great things about me they are missing out on. They told me they no longer wanted to be my parents, and now I have been ignored, and had their door slammed in my face for the last year. For years I considered cutting ties with them anyway, because my father was a rather abusive man (physically and emotionally), and he isn't very nice to my mom. I've learned a lot about myself; how to get along without them and how to grieve a loss... yes, sadly, I've grieved the loss of my parents even though they're still alive. I'm okay with it, and I have gone on to learn inner strength and now I am active duty in the Air Force and achieving a lot of my goals while serving my country and mothering my daughter. I just wish I had a family.

My new parents do not have to live in any certain place or have any certain amount of money. They don't have to have over-the-top awesome careers or be any face in the media. I am simply asking for someone to share my accomplishments with; someone to fuss over my daughter and tell me how beautiful and smart she is and that even though I am doing it alone, I'm doing a good job. Someone who will love me no matter what. But, I am not asking for a friendship. I am very serious about finding real parents. I want to make sure I'm compatible with them. I want phone calls or skype frequently, and I want to come visit even though I am stationed in Germany right now. I want it to last a lifetime through the good and the bad.

I know I will never replace anyone's lost child, and I hope this request for interest isn't seen that way. I just know that I need parents who will love me as if I'm their own. In turn I hope seeing this unconditional love and support will help me raise my daughter the same.

Sincerely,
Jamie

Comments for I didn't lose a child; I lost my parents and need love

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Sep 04, 2012
lost parents
by: silver

I was so blessed with parents that came to my aid from an abusive first marriage and a short separation of my second marriage. Like you I was a single mother for about 4 yrs.Unlike you,I was blessed w/parents who loved me in spite of everything. I am a senior citizen and can't be able to help that much but I admire you for taking control of your life and raising a child alone,esp while in the military.(my father was in the Air Force and we moved every 3 yrs or so-greatest mom)I wish I could be that parent(I am a widow)for you but if you need to talk I'm there for you GOD loves you

Sep 04, 2012
I didn't lose a child: I lost my parents and need love.
by: Doreen U.K.

Jamie I understand your grief and loss over the parents you have that are still alive. My son's EX girlfriend is 52 and I have adopted her without paper to say so. I am 64yrs. This may sound ridiculous but I see her as a daughter. She behaves like a daughter. She calls me Mom. Her name is Sherine. She is from Iran. She is lonely and suffered with depression for a long time. I suffered depression for over 40yrs. I went into counselling, got my life back and I am now rescueing and supporting others in distress. I do have 3 Adult Children. 2 have left the nest and don't come back. Living their own lives so I enjoy other people in my life who need me. It is sad when you are not in relationship with parents with a healthy loving attitude and who want you. This is a reality of living in a fallen world with SIN. We don't all get a good healthy start in life or ongoing. Everyone deserves LOVE in life. Your parents are the losers. Some people might want to know why your parents have disowned you from their life? What is important is you continuing to develop as a person with people in your life who are loving and have a healthy attitude towards people and have good parenting skills. You need structure in your childs life and if someone is willing to MENTOR you and bring good long lasting values into your life you will pass them on. This will make for a healthier and better environment for your child to grow up and you to develop also as a person that will enhance society. I hope you go on to be successfull in your request. Please keep us posted as to the successfull outcome of your request. Best wishes.

Sep 03, 2012
Dear jamie
by: Anonymous

What can I say? I am proud of you for reaching out, and not giving up. It must be very hard to be left out the way you have been left out. One thing I tell you give your parents their space to reconsider their mistaken position. Regardless of how your child came to this world she is Gods creation, and the Bible says Let the Children come to me because to them belongs the Kingdom of Heaven, the Bible is full of verses that encourage us to forgive. As a Christian that's a way of life, sorry that your parents are so closed minded in their believes. I do not have a daughter nor have grandchildren in fact I have an adopted daughter and granddaughter. No papers involved, we just chose each other and we treat each other as if we certainly are daughter and mother. She too had a baby w/o being married and I am ever so proud of her for facing her responsibilities and giving birth to a precious little girl. I am proud of you too! I am willing to be here for you. More than happy to talk to you, guide you if you ever need me. It is sad to think that a parent can refuse a living child, if they could only know what it feel to loose your child and never see he/she again. Try to forgive your parents and pray in any way you know for them to come to the realization that you did the very right thing YOU HAD YOUR CHILD AND YOU LOVE HER. hope to hear from you! My e-mail Madase3@bellsouth.net

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