I don't know how to get over it...

by L.D A
(Cape Town)

I was 8 when my dad was killed. He was amazing and at the time my best friend. He was a national rugby star and a friend among many. He was practicing for the Cape Argus close to our home in Pretoria and a drunk man fell asleep behind the wheel of his car at seven in the morning and hit my dad at the back of his bike. My dad flew forwards and broke his neck instantly in several places. Unfortunately he died 10 minutes after the crash and my unfortunate uncle was there to witness it all. The paramedics could not do anything to save him and the man who killed him only got off on about R 5000 bail and a suspended license for six months. This man who killed my father left me, my little sister and my mother father and husband-less. I don't know how to get over that because one moment he was there and the next he was gone.

I cry my eyes out at the mention of his name and even a thought of him brings tears to my eyes. Its been exactly 10 years now and i still cannot cope with his loss. It is so bad that i cannot spend time with his side of the family because every time i do i want to cry because they remind me so much of him...I hope no-one else out there is as unlucky as i am and had at least time to say good bye.

Comments for I don't know how to get over it...

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Nov 14, 2013
Its ok to cry.
by: Anonymous

Life is given to us, and it's the breath that we inhale. But as much as we inhale and are able to be alive, there's also this part of life that tells us, that to be alive is a gift, but in itself, for death eventually, is a sure reward. You can't escape it. So all I can say to you, that it was his time, see him in the heavens, and know in your heart he is ok. And allow healing to reign, where sorrow has prevailed. Be encouraged. God Bless. You

Nov 09, 2013
I don't know how to get over it...
by: Doreen UK

L.D.A. I am sorry for your loss of father and that after 10yrs. you are still feeling raw grief. You may be stuck in grief and unable to move forward. The help of a good grief counsellor may be able to help you with their skills into helping you move beyond the raw pain of this loss. None of us will totally get over our loss but we need to recover somewhat so we can go on living each day with less pain. The type of loss and nature of one's relationship makes our pain more severe when we lose them which is one more reason to get good support with moving beyond the pain. I would normally tell you to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME!. etc. But it has been 10yrs. and one day at a time won't make sense. But saying this ONE DAY AT A TIME. Does help most of us move forward. You need to NURTURE yourself so your pain is more bearable. Then try and change your FOCUS. So you can process events better even though they really happened. Don't dwell on the tragic way your father died. His pain was short lived. You weren't there, but try to reason that you couldn't and so let yourself off the hook for the guilt you feel. You can also keep a journal and write out all your sad, unhappy, and anger. You can even write letters to your father and let him know in your journal how his death has affected you and the rest of the family. You may be able to move beyond the anger and write differently in your journal that will bring healing to you and your family. May God be with you all and bring you His Comfort and Peace.

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