I don't know if I can go on.
My husband of 41 years had been sick with cancer for 3 months and just kept getting worse day by day. When he finally passed in March it was a relief from watching him get worse and being in pain. Still I felt like everything changed when I couldn't be with him anymore. I didn't know what to do with myself. The kids went back to their lives and I feel like mine is over. All the dreams of retirement and plans for our future ended and now what do I do? I feel lost and afraid of a future without him and am struggling to pay the medical bills and mortgage and just can't seem to get past the grief. I start crying at the strangest times, especially when people ask "How are you?" Sometimes I feel like it was all a bad dream and we didn't have time to say goodbye as he was so sick and in pain most of the time. Today I have tried to figure out the income taxes, as this was his job, and I don't know what to do. I am so tired most of the time and don't want to do anything that I used to enjoy. Will I ever feel joy again?