I don't know what I will do.

by Lori Ann
(Parker,Colorado,U.S.A.)

I am 52 years old. My Father died September 30,2012.I bragged about my Dad alot .I thought my Dad was in amazing shape at 75.His Mom is still here at 102.His Dad died at 90.My Father hunted or fished passionatley every day since early retirement at 50.Moved to Pierre ,South Dakota.The Sunday Dad died he was duck hunting with his beloved Pete.(yellow lab)Mom came home from church to see my Dad cleaning ducks for the last time.I was there for a week .Saw how brave and gracious my Mom is after 55 years of marriage.Came back to my home Colorado.Went to work fell apart for 3 days.Now I feel as if its not real.Didn.t really happen.Dad took a nap Sunday.Never woke-up they say.I never really thanked him .I meant too.Writing this helped me cry again.But then Iam too sad.So for now I will pretend he is not gone.Love to you Dad, Lori Ann

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Oct 21, 2012
I don't know what I will do. from Doreen to Lori Anne
by: by Doreen to Lori Anne

Lori Anne I AM DEEPLY SORRY!!! for posting the way I did. When I read your post and read my reply to you. I cannot believe that I expressed myself the way I did. Even if it is a BLESSING to have had 25yrs. retirement. it is never ever a BLESSING that you lost your father. I didn't mean it the way it sounds but I can assure you I meant no disprespect or hurt to you by the way I posted my comment.
I am angry that Steve did not get to enjoy his retirement and I am here alone when we could have had some years to have some quality time together. But one day ACCEPTANCE will kick in and I will get over this ANGER.
But Meantime I hope that LIFE will be good to you. That you will be BLESSED with good family and friends forever. That God will be especially near to you and bring you the Comfort and Peace you need now and in the days, months, and years ahead. You are so young. May you be BLESSED with a long and HAPPY LIFE. Once again I AM DEEPLY DEEPLY SORRY!!! for any offense or hurt I caused you. MY SINCERE APOLOGIES!!!!

Oct 20, 2012
Doreen U.k.
by: Lori Ann

Iam sorry about your husband.I lost my husband when I was 30 years old.I had 2 little girls at the time.We were devastated.Only married for 9 years.My Father was there within hours.Stayed long after funneral was over.Only left at my urging a good month after.At 39 I was diag. with breast cancer.My Dad reminded me how tough I was when we drove to hospital for injections to combat chemos ill effects.Then we went to my house had ducks and watched my beloved Minnesota Vikings. Always inviting us out so eager to be the perfect host.Rescuing me from a failing abusive marriage.And 4yrs. later walking me down our beautiful yard through the pine trees to my husband saying its about time we get this right.My husband phesant hunted with my dad the last 5 years.They loved eachother also .I dont feel its a blessing.

Oct 19, 2012
I don't know what I will do.
by: Doreen U.K.

Lori Anne pretending your dad is still here is DENIAL. It doesn't help your grief. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 5 months ago to cancer and I feel as if my husband is still here because for his 47yrs. working life he always worked around the country or overseas and it feels as if he is away on a job. Your Dad had at least 25yrs. of retirement. this is a BLESSING. My husband did not get to retire. He went from 47yrs. working life to cancer to death. He was sad and upset he wasn't going to live. We all get dealt a different deal in life. Some good, and some bad. It is human to question WHY! but it means we all have to go through a hard life on this earth, and we will all die one day. It is just that we go on in life and get caught off guard untill some illness threatens life. It amazes me how we go through the motions doing what we have to do and we do cope and get through it all. When we look back we can't believe what we have come through. It is just hard when we are going through it. THROUGH IT is the Key to our HEALING.

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