I don't know what to do with myself
At 6:05am today my grandad passed away after a long, cruel battle with lung cancer. Despite the fact that I had known his death was imminent, I am still in shock.. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't understand how such a happy, caring, selfless, sweet, gentle man could be made to suffer so cruelly. He hadn't been in great health throughout his life, surviving two heart attacks in his twenties. So I guess he did well to survive to 74 years old, though I feel like he should've lasted longer. And he could've, had our local doctors not been so stupid. Three weeks ago, the poor man was driving to north Wales in his car and back. Now he's gone, after having been bedridden for I think two weeks. It's no way to go, and I intend to repay him by attempting to crack cancer. No one should have to suffer as he did. This can't go on. We need to kill cancer before it kills us. I believe it can be done. Rest in peace, grandad. I'll miss you so much, you were the most important person in my life and I love you, one day I hope I can make you proud.