I don't know
I sit here and I read what everyone says every night. I try to understand but I don't. Sometimes it is hard to read because what you write is everything I am feeling but am not able to put into words and then I cry. I feel so lost. I feel so alone. Even when people are around. I never had a really close friend. He was my friend. I didn't need anyone else. Now there is no one. No one to tell all of my feelings to. No one to lean on. Oh God I miss him so much.
I try to move forward but where do I go. It is like void. The first weeks I was in fog. I don't know if I thought he would come back or what. He was so strong. Even when he had to go into the hospital last year he came out strong. I don't know what to do without him.
My family thinks I need therapy but I can't talk to strangers so I sit here and try to get through it and when family calls or comes over I pretend I am OK while I am just dying inside.