i feel like i cant go on

6 years ago i met the man that would become the one true love in my life...my soulmate...we had dated,broke up,dated,and broke up...but we both knew we had something special-it just wasnt the right time..we had both recently come out of very hurtful relationships and needed time to heal and grow.Over the last 6 years,we have kept in touch infrequently...him always wanting to know if i was truly happy...i got married to the wrong person and he was devastated..and he waited for me..i made the decision to divorce my husband and began seeing the real love of my life 2 months ago..and we were so in love,so happy...he was my rock while i am going thru a miserable divorce...we made plans for our future...talked about having a baby...and his friends and family have all said this was the happiest they had ever seen him...on August 2 he died driving home from work of a massive heart attack...and his last message was to me..i never got to say goodbye...my life is over..i have nothing...i have nothing to look forward to...he promised he would never leave me and he did...i cannot function...i am just empty...i am not religious,but am spiritual and just want a sign from him...o god i dont know how i am going to get through life and finishout this divorce without him...any words are greatly appreciated

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Aug 07, 2012
thank you all
by: Anonymous

today was the funeral...the second worst day of my life...but with the help of his amazing family,i survived..barely..i miss so much..i feel so empty,drained and alone..but i now have his family as part of mine...thank you crystal for your words of kindness-it helps so much to know people survive this...and you are so right..he would want me to go on..i can hear him saying it..i am consumed with sadness..but he has been sending me so many signs that he is with me..and that brings me a small amount of comfort..

Aug 06, 2012
You can survive
by: Crystal

I know right now you feel like you are so lost that you don't know if anyone feels your pain or understands your pain. You have experienced two losses in your life in a very short time. The loss of your marriage and all of the grief that comes from a divorce. Whether you marriage was good or bad you will grieve the loss of it. Then loosing your "soul mate" was even harder because he was your rock or the one person you could be yourself with because you didn't have to worry about him judging you for all the wrongs that happended in your previous relationship with your X husband. I am so very sorry for the pain you are feeling. I always hated when someone woould tell me they were sorry for my loss. Because I always felt like I had lost my car keys or something when someone would say that to me. Your love one being taken from you so suddenly is hard. This was not something that you expected and it is going to hurt. But you have to know that he would want you to find happiness and doing that may take time. But I promise you will find happiness again someday. Greive like you need too. If you need to scream then scream if you need to cry then cry, but also don't forget it is okay to smile. It is okay to laugh, because he would want you to laugh and smile. I know it is hard my husband died suddenly in 2009 at the age of 33. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. Even after 3 years I still cry some days and I feel guilty when I don't think of him everyday. But he knew how much I loved him and I know how much he loved me. So I have to take comfort in knowing that he loves me still and that he is still here with me. My life didn't stop because he isn't here to share it with me. Moving on will be hard for you but that is someting that time will help with. I think time numbs it so you can cope and learn to heal. Take the time to heal, but don't allow it to consume you. I am sure he would want nothing more to than to comfort you right now but you know he would want nothing more than happiness for you. I often write to my husband, I realize it is letters that he will never see. But it is my way of talking to him, I just tell him what is going on in my life and it eases the pain. Take care of you and I promise that you will be taken care of by him.

Aug 05, 2012
I feel like I can't go on
by: Doreen U.K.

I am so very sorry for your loss of the love of your life. Then man you were going to marry some day. I am also sorry for your loss of happiness that causes you to get a divorce. Life is so cruel. You had a chance at happiness and just when you were planning your future. It ended tragically for you and the love of your life. Whenever we live in misery it seems to last forever and when we get the chance to be happy it is short lived. The timing of it all is tragic. A love story that has left you bleeding. Unhappy, Lonely, miserable. Unable to go on in life. Your grief is unbearable. You are in a hard place. I lost my husband 12 weeks ago from cancer. We were married 44yrs. He had a deadly cancer for over 3 yrs. He died a slow painfull death. I nursed him and had to watch the man I loved Die slowly. It broke my heart. I wonder How I am going to go on without him. Life is unbearable. All my joy has gone. I can't get stuck into life. How can either of us replace the one's we Loved. WE CAN'T. It means then that we go on ALONE. If I didn't believe in God I wouldn't be able to go on in life. I have no CHOICE to LIVE. It is up to God. You can only go on one day at a time. And even this is so hard to do. Grief is so very painful and such a struggle to go through. I hope that you are surrounded by loving family and friends to help pull you through these difficult days, weeks and months ahead. don't look too far ahead. Don't think too hard about the future and what it may hold for you. Only Today is ours, till tomorrow comes.

Aug 05, 2012
Yes You Can
by: Judith in California

How horribly sad a love story you have. I pray God will help see you through this. You can go on through his guidance and strength.You feel lost right now and that is the way it will be for awhile but please go on and get your divorce and take some time and grieve as you must. Please don't fall back. Go forward and get to know who you truly are and what you will and won't have in your life. I now this is going to be the hardest time. May you find the acceptance and peace on the other side of grief down the road. It's been 23 months since my husband passed and it's still tough at times.

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